Sunday, April 17, 2016

How Do I Manage my Children and my Job?

Good morning auntie. Am a corper and a mother of twins also. my hubby is not in the country. My problem is that where am doing my primary assignment is in a health centre where we attend to tuberculosis patients. I do leave my kids in the care of my neighbour while going to work, now my neighbour has started work and I told my hubby for us to enroll them in creche since they are 1 year plus but he refused, that I should stop serving and go back to the village. I also need to do my internship in a hospital but he refused too.
Is not as if he sends money always, atimes when there is need for money he will tell me to ask my parents or sort myself out that he can't borrow money to send or doesn't have money. Am confused and don't know what to do again. I need an advise from married and matured minds.

It's only you that can tell what you are experiencing in your marriage and only you can decide what's best for you and your children at this precarious moment of their life. 
There are so many factors to consider to help you make the best decision on whether to enrol your children in a creche or to find an alternative to take care of your children. Do you have the funds to enrol them in a creche? How workable is the crèche in retrospect to your workplace and your children's health and safety? 
Do you have anyone who will support you and help you oversee the needs of your children while you complete your national assignment? 
These and many more will guide you on what you need to discuss with your husband and establish some form of baseline before taking your decision on this. There are some things that you must not compromise on and one of those is completing your national assignment and your internship programme. 
Gone are the days when a lady will go to the village and be a slave to her in-laws, while she waits for money from the husband. You must help him to understand that you are not competing with him but equipping yourself to be relevant in your marriage and meet the needs of your home. 
Since he cannot guarantee that he will be sending enough funds for the upkeep of your children and he can't guarantee that he will provide all that you need every month, it will be a big risk for you to quit your assignment and return to his village. 
If you cannot carry the financial burden of sending your children to a crèche, which maybe why your husband never supported the idea and there is nobody who can stand in the gap to help you take care of them, maybe you should consider taking them to your in-laws (now that depends on your relationship with them) or consider taking them to your own family who are in a better position to understand you and support you so that you can finish the programme and then enrol your children in school. 
In all, please endeavour to let your husband know your decision and your stand on his instructions. Living abroad doesn't mean that he shouldn't be considerate and supportive in your life nor does it mean that you should not weigh your options and the challenges before deciding on what's workable for you and your children. 

1 comment:

  1. Some men sha, instead of offering reasonable solution, they add more problem.... God help us


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