Saturday, June 6, 2015

He has refused to respond to my apologies, should I move on?

Please ma,I really do need your advice on this.
I met this guy last year he seemed to be my very definition of hubby.We were good friends before last year though we lost communication but after a year it came alive.
Before he left the country,he proposed to me and I accepted. My family knows about him and so does his family about me.Till this guy left,he never touched me in spite of the times we spent together.
He was so nice to me and respected me as a lady.
To cut a long story short,he finally left and since then communication had been smooth until an evening when I chatted him up as usual and he didn't respond.
He was online for some minutes before he replied only to tell me that he was hooked up with a business partner and that he would call me later or that I should wait and when he's done we would talk.
This "chat" with his "business partner" lasted for hours till I became angry and I sent him a text immediately asking for a break up and telling him he was talking to another girl,how I hated him,how he pissed me off and how he shouldn't think am crazy about the fact that he stays abroad
He didn't reply me.Two days after I did that, I sent him a text apologizing for what I did.He didn't reply too.I have sent series of messages,yet he hasn't replied.By next week Tuesday,it would be a month.
He hasn't called or texted either.Am trying to start letting other men into my life cause its obvious that his silence implies its over.If I let someone else take his place,that would be all about it.Please Ma and co-fans,i need your advice on this.Thank you.
Dear sender,
I know long distant relationship can be challenging and emotionally stressful.
Clearly not everyone can cope with it but you need to retrace your footsteps and learn from all that have happened before deciding on what's next for you to do.
From your mail, I felt that you never trusted this man even after he had proposed marriage to you.
You allowed your fears to get hold of your lips and that made you vomit all the hurtful words you could manufacture.
I may not know if truly he was cheating on you or not but attacking him the way you did was totally disrespectful and sincerely unnecessary.
Whenever you have any fears or worries, attacking the other partner never yields the solution, instead it expands the distance between you and your partner.
What you should have done was wait till he was done and then you can calmly ask who the business partner was and the kind of business he was into.
That way, he would be forced to reveal some details to you but you were unable to wait and you may have been wrong and succeeded in pushing him far away from you.
Also, try your possible best to minimize and eliminate every form of assumptions in your relationship.
It most times destroys the very trust,mutual understanding and love the partner shares.
Instead of making assumptions which may or may not be true, please ask questions, seek opinions, ask for counselling but in all never you make conclusions with what you feel or possibly thought was true.
You have his ring with you and that makes you engaged to be married to him, if you feel he is no longer the dream husband you met initially and accepted his proposal, please do well to let him know, return his ring to him and then you can then date other men as you so wish
But I would suggest you do your best to get him to at least talk to you so that you can hear him out before deciding on what is best for your life.
Learn to be patient with others and meditate before you let words out of your lips.
You would avoid a lot of stress and discomforts like these when you do.
Pray and commit everything to God,seek him now and do not give up on him even when you do not feel like you can cope anymore.

1 comment:

  1. How old re u @ poster, u sounded so immature a,unsecured and desperate. Want will be will be , don't push d guy or think u can hv him by threats, gv him some time if he doesn't respond to u, free ur self, ur own man wuldn't waste time to make u his wen he comes by, cheers!


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