Monday, July 27, 2015

My spirit and soul are both shattered!

Good day Aunty Amara. God bless you for the broken hearts you have mended. 
God will continue to guide and lead you.Please post this for me. 
Ma, my spirit and soul are both shattered. 
I am girl of 25 years. Got married two months ago. I dated my hubby for one year plus before we finally got married. 
Through out the time we dated, I never caught him cheating. 
Just five days ago,i was sniffing through my hubby's phone and I discovered he has been keeping up with two different girls. 
There was this one that he calls often and she calls him too cos I went through his call logs on his two phones. 
Omg,when I saw this I felt bad/lost. I couldn't help but cry. 
Aunty I'm so sad right now. I'm ten weeks gone. I don't want this to affect my baby/pregnancy. I can't eat I can't even sleep. 
Although,he's caring loving. The best man a lady could ask for. 
But I don't know why this is happening. It's too early. 
My soul is not at rest. I can't even think straight. 
Aunty please, what should I do? Is that I should confront him? Or what? 
Have been thinking about so many things. 
Don't know how to tackle this and it's affecting me. Or is there anything I need to do as a woman again? 
Please advice me ma.Thanks

Dear sender,
I totally understand how you feel at the calls and the information contained in his phones.
But let me ask you sweetheart, what if there was no handset, do you think you would have felt the way you did? What if you so much trusted him for taking the bold step to get married to you, would you really conclude the lady was dating your husband just by their exchange of calls?
I am not in any way trying to defend him or exonerate him from your fears but I feel that you need to hold your breath a bit and kindly make some enquiries before arriving at the conclusion that the lady in question may be hanging out with your husband.
I know at surface value, you feel like your husband has no female friends but that would be a lie.
Maybe I should add, sniffing through phones in search of exhibits is a sign of insecurity, self confidence and maturity in your marriage because you may read a lot of meanings from what may sincerely never be an issue.
So my first suggestion would be, you are already married.. No matter the number of women chasing your husband, you are within to repeal that with love, communication, prayers and Godly attitude and they can never defeat you unless you permit them with your fears and worries.
Secondly, if it is possible which I hope should be, see his handset as a public office and his heart as yours. Let your presence and influence be felt in his heart and you would simply capture his handset with little or no stress.
Checking through the phone of a cheater never stops him from cheating on you, it would only make him to buy a new Sim card or learn to wipe out any traces of his actions from his phone.
You are blessed with a baby on the way. The way you worry, and feel greatly affect the state of your health and that of your baby.
Please do focus much more on your happiness and maintain a healthy living by eating good food for the sake of your baby.
Finally since you may not be free until you have enquired of what you saw.
Do well to discuss with your husband when he's in a calm state of mind what you saw.
Please do not make conclusions or sound as though you have all the evidence already.
Make enquiry and then ask him politely about the numbers on his device.
Whatever be his response, please do let him be and do not make arguments with him.
Let him know how you feel and plead with him to always support you especially now that you are expecting his baby.
Then use your knees to guide his feet and not your lips. A lot of wives all over the world used their knees to fix their home.
A man looks very handsome in his shirt until he's married to a woman, she may never believe that he could sweat not to talk of having a weakness.
Pray for him and pray with him.
Infidelity is a lifelong battle and it takes the grace of God for a man to resist the temptation and be faithful to his wife.
I'm sorry for the rude shock, many wives won't tell you those but they endured, sacrificed, prayed, fasted and persevered to build a resilient and prosperous home.
I pray for grace, wisdom and understanding to help you manage this and deliver safely in due time.
All the best.


  1. i like this page so much because aunty amara will always give a consolation to the heartbroken pls dear listen to her do exactly what she asked you to do be consoled most times is the ladies that tries to force themselves in a man knowing fully well that he is married but don't let them weigh you down especially at this critical time you are into no the husband is yours you have wedded with him so that person is just wasting there time remember WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DONE THE CHICKS START ROASTING all you need to do is to be prayerful don't react with anger and guide your tongue so that you don't regret your actions at last

  2. Sincerely, I am so thankful for the advice that you have been given. The best place is what you have his heart, his home, his, affection and above all your union. The only union that is respected by God is that of you and your husband, in fact He sees you both as one and as heirs of the grace of life! A wise woman builds her house....on the wisdom of the word of God, wise counsels, much praying and less talking. Believe God for you and your spouse, use your energy positively, if possible avoid sniffing through his phone, don't hurt yourself by looking for what can affect you emotionally, whatever affects you, affects your home.
    Be thankful to God for all the good in your man and overlook the calls you saw. If those women were that important, you would not be the one he would have married.

    Stay in your place... a watchman over her house (With God) nothing & no-one would be able to move you. Your home would stand, Heaven is on your side... Calm down darlyn.

    All is Well.


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