Wednesday, August 19, 2015

She Insisted Never to Come Back.

Good pm, Amara,I just need your kind advice. 
I have a wife, we are married for more than four years still expectant but my wife walked away from my house more than a month ago, when I travelled abroad. 
It was made known to me by some effort I made when I suspected the way she behaved during our discussion on phone or chat. 
We love each other so much until this issue of child birth, she had several miscarriages and last one was ectopic pregnancy, more than two years ago, but she had some vision from pastor that her mother in law was responsible for her challenges, which formed part of her reasons for leaving my home without divorce notice. 
I still love her so much but with what she's done I just wish I had the courage to let her go, but I still begged her but she insisted that she will not come back, have informed her mom and some family members she still insisted and she kept her whereabouts from everyone. 
What can I do to stop this issue? I spoke with her some days back from what I can get from her reason are the issues of the past that we both have and settled a long time but she continued talking about it. 
Mind you, I have told her to come and join me abroad before but she told me that her pastor said that she shouldn't travel but I don't know how true her claim was. 
I have pressed on her several times but nothing changed. 
Please advice me, I won't mind if you can help to reframe the story cos I don't want her to still suspect I brought this issue to the public. Thank you so much. 

You sounded as though your wife is the leader in your home while you continue to plead and consume every information she felt like sharing with you. 
To start with, you are the spiritual head of your home. What that means is that what God has revealed to you by the virtue of being her husband, supercedes whatever it was her pastor told her. 
You need to wake up and take charge of your home. 
The Bible said that the man shall leave his mum and dad and cleave to his wife as one body, blood and bone. 
They are meant to become one in all ramifications and you are meant to be her leader while she subjects herself to you. 
It is simply not appropriate for you to have informed her that you wanted her join you where you live and then she replied by telling you what her pastor said, really? 
I  feel that you need to do a lot more than you are currently doing.
I understand that you are kind and caring and I also share in your pains with respect to your desire to have children of your own but you have left a lot of things to go unattended to by mere relegating your responsibilities to her. 
Your challenge may not have been caused by anyone, it could have been as a result of her age or some medical challenges which may have hindered her baby from growing in her womb. 
It could be that because she's advanced in age, her cervical muscles weren't strong enough to carry the weight of her baby or it maybe the effect of fibroid in her system. 
But a good medical check up will definitely ascertain what exactly may have been the challenge. That notwithstanding, you and your wife can conceive and bring forth lovely children when you unite with her and trust in God for your own bundle of blessing. 
Please if it is possible, do make out time and meet your wife, wherever she maybe, so that you and her can discuss expensively on the future of your marriage. 
Use the opportunity to also allow her to pour out her mind on whatever it may be that she felt was more important than your home or her fears and worries about the future of your marriage. 
All her reasons for wanting to leave you sounds so childish and unfounded but if after all your efforts, she decides to take a walk, give her the freedom. 
When you don't take charge of your marriage from onset, you end up with challenges as yours. 
Please do well to pray for your wife and your marriage, trusting Him to restore your home which the enemy is striving to destroy. 

Please feel free to share your thoughts with me on the blog. 
Thank you. 


  1. Sir your wife though, if we are to go with what you shared with us, in as much as you showed to have showered her with love and wish you both be together as one happy family once again, she sounds as if she is no longer interested using the childbirth issue as an excuse coupled with that of her pastor saying things about her mother in-law, and same pastor discouraging her from going abroad to stay with you. Hmmm. I have noticed that pastors who are the so called men of God are responsible for so many breakups in marriages nowadays.

    I'm actually short of words but please what you ought to do now is read carefully and understand the advice Mrs Van-Lare gave. It will really be of help.

    Note: Maybe you should look for your wife in her pastors house, she might be taking "refuge" there as the pastor might as well have taken advantage of her vulnerability in making her believe she is safe there.

  2. Chief Mario u are right, a prophetess broke my marriage, now looking for me that she used wisdom of prophetess on my ex. I pray God will bring her back but I can see the pastor as worked on her


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