Wednesday, August 5, 2015

She saved my mum's number as "old witch"

Good day ma, am using my girlfriend's profile to send this.
She is on your page 24/7 so I hope she sees this, my story is quite lengthy.
We have been together for close to two years now, and I love and care about her, I have even gone to see her parents, she loves me too but the issue here was the relationship between her and my mom.
At first she and my mom were inseparable, she went to my parent's house on her own, bought my peeps gifts, especially my mom, according to her she said 'she is bribing her way through' I secretly admired their friendship because they were too important to me.
But recently I noticed the bridge between the two of them, my girl even saved my mom's number as 'old witch', my mom even deleted her own number because I checked her phone.
Mom has issues, big issues at that and she hardly get along with my dates in the past except for my girlfriend, that's why I cherished my girl.
I have tried bringing them together, they both gave me work and busy excuses, I don't even know the problem here because none of them is telling me anything.
I love my mom and I love my girl, but if they keep hating on each other like this, then I don't know my next move, truthfully this the reason why I paused in paying her bride price because I want peace between my favourite women, how do I go about it?
Am just confused people.

Dear sender, 
I hope you don't mind my honest and sincere views with respect to your mail. 
You admitted that your mum has big issues with most of the ladies you have brought for marriage. 
My concern is, what are what are her issues and concerns about your choice of partners and why is it that she always doesn't get along with most of them? 
Your girlfriend must have appreciated the importance of in laws which made her to consider getting close to your mum and spending some time with her. 
What exactly did your mum say or do that made your girlfriend to save her number with such a troubling name? 
Have you in all sincerity sought to know what exactly happened from your mum or is she sacred beyond errors? 
My concern is, I hope that your mum will allow you to be a man and an independent man at that not the one who will always run to mummy for everything and anything. 
I hope that you will be independent enough to let your mum know when you disagree with her opinions or is her decision the final? 
Marriage to be candid isn't for mummy's pet or for a man who cannot be firm and honest not minding what happened and who was wrong. 
I feel that you need to grow into that manhood where you can manage challenges like these and be fair to all. 
And I also feel that you cannot find fulfilment in life and marriage until you left your mother and relatives and have learnt to be independent of the opinions of others. 
As for your lady, it would only be fair to hear her out before making conclusions but for her to save your mum's number with "old witch" is really disturbing and disappointing on how mature she is emotionally to manage issues and challenges as a woman, wife and mother. 
I am so convinced that she wouldn't love such name should anyone else tag her with such a name. 
I know that she must have been very very angry with what your mum did or didn't do which made her to act irrational by saving her name with such a name. 
If she doesn't have the capacity to endure, to be patient, to be calm especially with in laws especially when there's a sensitive challenge in her marriage, then she may need to be groomed to learn how much we cherish our elders and respect our in laws even when it may not be so comfortable for us. 
In the end, you know much better than I do what you really need in life and in marriage. 
Until you discern what really happened, it may be difficult to decide what's best for you. 
And until you have convinced your mum of how independent, mature, responsible, and focused you are as a man to your vision for your life and marriage, she will always make you a puppet with no direction or purpose. 
Please do take your time to commune with God almighty in prayers and seek his purpose for your marriage and life. 
It's awesome to strive to make your parents and family happy with your choice of partner but it is very much important for you to be happy with who you are married to and to marry the lady who God has prepared for your life and destiny. 
All the best dear. 


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