Saturday, November 21, 2015

How Much of His Negligence can I Take?

Good day Aunty Amara. God bless you for all your good works. Please I just want to pour out my mind perhaps I could get some helpful tips.
Hubby and I have been married for over four years and since then we have been trying to have children. I am 29 years and he is 40 years. We have done several tests and seen several Doctors and we were certified okay.
The issue I have is that hubby is always engrossed in his work, especially when it is that 'lucky time' of the month to the extent that I would even have to beg and pet him as if am the only one interested in having children, sometimes he would ask me if I want them to sack him from work because he didn't send a particular report,then I would start feeling bad.
Am just tired of the whole thing because I don't know how much more of his negligence I can take.

Sweetheart, I understand how you feel about your husband's attitude towards your desire to have babies for him. 
One thing I can assure you is that you are not barren and in due time your children shall begin to arrive in doubles and triples so just prepare your heart and pocket for their arrival. 
Some of the realities of your marriage is the fact that sexual libidos are not the same with you and your husband and the reason is not far fetched, it's due to his age and interest in life. For him, providing your daily needs is more important now than ever before because that is his source of pride and fulfilment in life. 
He wants to make sure that you don't lack what you need and that he provides everything that will make you happy but for you, those may not be your own needs now as you want to carry your own baby and take care of him just as your husband is taking good care of you. 
I know that you deserve what you desire but with so much worries, anxiety, sexual tension and pressures, I doubt if you will achieve what your heart craves for.
I will suggest that you surrender your worries to God and leave it there and then support your husband in his job. 
Make him feel appreciated and stop reminding that you are not yet pregnant because that will be putting him under pressure and make him have low self esteem of himself. 
He may not be open to you but it's possible that he may have chosen to marry his job out of the frustrations and challenges of not being able to impregnate you and he needs you more than ever before to enable him not to lose focus on God's promises for your marriage. 
Give him a good massage and possibly stop reminding him about the "lucky time" of the month. 
Lavish him with care and give him sex with all gratitude and selfless devotion. Pregnancy will come when it will come but for now please enjoy your sexual intimacy with your husband. 
Because of his age and health needs, minimise giving him fried foods and fatty foods and serve him with fruits and vegetables that will boost his blood flow. 
Prepare his meal with enough garlic, ginger, onions, moringa, fresh cucumber and water melon.
Pamper him like your precious egg so that he will have sufficient energy for love making as often as possible to increase your chances of conception. 
Vary your sexual positions and focus on ones that give him greater advantage of penetration and sexual pleasure. 
Place a pillow under your buttocks and stay back for a while after love making to enable his sperm travel down to your womb. 
Since you have been medically certified parents, I am convinced that heaven will favour you with fruits of the womb.
Please bear with your husband in times like this because he maybe under pressure just as you are and you need his efforts to support you and to cater for your needs. 
I pray that by this time next year, you shall be carrying your own bundle of joy in Jesus name Amen. 
You may also read Conception and Challenges and Possible Causes of Delay in Conception to gain more insight on how best to manage your home and work with your husband to achieve the desires of your heart. 


  1. Wow! Aunty Amara, I so much love your response to that Lady's problem. You are doing a good job. Just joined ur page. This interesting. God bless u.

  2. A wonderful advice. God bless you.


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