Thursday, December 17, 2015

Can't Believe that He Deceived Me!

Good day ma,please I need your advice and that of AVLites.
I am a lady of 26 who graduated this year and waiting for NYSC.This is my story:
I met this man in Port Harcourt during my one year industrial training in AGIP in 2012,we became friends and six months later he started talking about marriage so I told him to hold on because I wanted to graduate before getting married and he agreed.
After my IT,I went back for HND and few months later he introduced me to his family and they all accepted me. I also introduced him to my family,my parents and siblings accepted him too. We started a good relationship and I told him I will not hav sex until we are married and he agreed,he helped me financially and his mum and siblings called me almost everyday. His younger sister visited me in school with foodstuff from the mum and the dad.
Everything was going on well and we fixed the traditional/white wedding on the 26th of this month. So two weeks ago a woman called me from Enugu and was telling me that she always saw my love messages in her hubby's phone whenever he visits them(because he always travels and when I ask he will tell me that he travelled with the resource manager for business but I never knew he had a family in Enugu).
I asked her the name of the man and she told me it's V (my would be husband)I was shocked when she told me that they are legally married with five kids(girls).So I told her to come down to PH so that I can see her.
The next day she came and we met in an open place and she showed me their wedding pictures and some pictures of the man carrying the children on his laps,she also gave me a video CD of their wedding to watch as a proof. I was dumbfounded and shocked to my bones .She pleaded with me not to tell V nor anybody of our meeting that he will send her out of the house because she doesn't have a male child so I agreed and she left.
When I got home I watched the video and my body became stiff for some minutes. Few days later I told V that three different prophets confirmed that he was married with kids but he denied. I travelled home with the video and told my people and we all agreed to cancel the wedding.
So when I got back to PH I told him I was no longer interested because of the prophesy but he thought I was joking,his mum,dad and sibling were all calling me and telling me that how can I cancel my wedding because of a mere prophesy,that the prophets were fake.
Can you imagine that his wife went and told her friend that we met(and we both agreed to keep our meeting a secret while I withdrew from the man)so her friend then told V and he went to Enugu and beat her mercilessly and chased her out of the house.
The woman called me and was crying saying that her hubby and in laws have sent her packing and they were calling her enemy of progress(according to her she said her hubby and in laws hate her). When I asked her why she was sent packing,she said that she told her friend not knowing that the friend will betray her. So I told her not to worry that God will take control.
Just few days ago so many numbers were calling my line and calling me a home breaker,ashewo,useless girl and they were laying curses,she went and distributed my numbers to her family,colleagues ,pastors and church members. So I called her to know why she will send people to insult me and she said that I made her hubby send her packing that I will suffer bla bla bla...
Her friends were writing on my Facebook timeline 'husband snatcher'.The man(V )had the boldness to come to my father's house to plead for forgivenes so my brothers beat him blue black and locked him up at the station for deceiving us all these while and making me pass through emotional trauma.
His parents came and were begging us to forgive them and release their son so my brothers called the police and got them arrested,while the wife was busy sending all sort of abusive messages to my line...
Aunt Amara am heart broken,I don't know what to hold on to so that I will not lose my breath and faint. I never believed that the man and his family were deceiving me for close to three years ...
Please I need advice and words of encouragement.

Please go and thank God for saving you from living a miserable life and making a terrible decision that would have cost you your happiness and fulfilment in life. 
In the midst of all the drama, God never allowed you to be an option or the other lady who he would have deceived with marriage and kept in Port Harcourt. 
Encourage your parents and brothers to release his parents and also set V free. 
Let's leave the rest to God take charge. On your part, kindly change your mobile number and kindly block anyone who comes on your timelime to spew anything to abuse your personality. 
This was why our elders in the time past always insisted on making enquiries about an individual before getting married to such a person. 
Their reason was so that you will know his identity, his marital status, his family background and the perception of the family by their own neighbours. 
It may look primitive but it's purpose is still valid up till today and if only you made some enquiries about him, you would have known that his HR was actually his wife and not his colleague. 
Choose to forgive and forgo all other things, do not hold back to all they are telling you, it's normal because they felt that you were desperate or trying to destroy her home but in all sincerity from your mail, you were simply naive. 
It's settled already so don't let this make you worked up. You did the right thing by calling off the relationship and the marriage. 
I am sincerely proud of your family for letting V know that he couldn't get away with such a wicked deception and manipulation for three years. 
The God who knows the content of your heart and your purpose in life will bless you with the partner He has prepared for your destiny in Jesus name Amen 


  1. Wow...
    I like you...
    I like your brothers....
    Infact...your family is the best...
    May God bless that family...
    These are the type of brothers i love...
    Guys that do not joke with their sisters emotions...
    I love the beating aspect and the locking up...
    Infact...i would have joined to render my fair share of blows and kicks on that serpent of a man...
    This is the most action packed story I've read on this page...It's interesting and I was filled with smiles on reading through...
    Dear poster...
    It's painful to get decieved...but i thank God for saving you...
    It's not too late my dear..
    Ignore those calls and messages...
    That's what frustration can cause...
    They're simply looking for who to pour their anger on...
    The way some women reason baffles me atimes..
    Be calm...God will send your prince in due time..For refusing to break a womans home...No home breaker will see your own husband...Amen..
    Once regards to your brothers...Real men!

    1. confirm family
      family with dignity

    2. confirm family
      family with dignity

  2. Your family did d ryt thing. But I blame u though.Most of us girls look for already made guys without thinking and doing wats ryt .If money brings happiness y wud hav married him na. So pls my dear look deeply before u leap.

  3. I applaud your courage and integrity. May God bless you. Indeed you are a good lady. As for the wife, let her bear her burden. A curse causeless will not abide.

  4. I love u n ur fam jare. Just do as anty Amara said. Its well

  5. Interesting story, the man and his entire family are full of deception and mendacity and this has cost you an emotion of sadness and trauma just because you fail to scrutinise the man's antecedent before you accept his conjugal offer. NB: be wise like a serpent and be humble like a dove says the Lord.

  6. Interesting story, the man and his entire family are full of deception and mendacity and this has cost you an emotion of sadness and trauma just because you fail to scrutinise the man's antecedent before you accept his conjugal offer. NB: be wise like a serpent and be humble like a dove says the Lord.

  7. just put yourself together and be more closer to God. he only can guide u

  8. nothing mega dear poster. just go down on ur knees and thank God for not allowing you to enter where u will cry forever cos he wanted to marry u probably to get a male child. forgetting dat it is God dat gives male and female children. tnk God u neva fell a prey to dem despite not asking questions but u acted nicely. i love u for dat n i also appreciate ur brothers and parents for wat dey did. pray ur hubby and heart robe is on d way, where u will enjoy and be happy.

  9. Thank God you realized all these on not late to start again and God will heal your broken heart

  10. What i love most in all these is that u refused to have sex with him until marriage what if u have slept with him and become pregnant? so this is the best lesson people should learn from this story and am surprised nobody mentioned it. Goodluck to u!

  11. You are an angel dear, and see God is already fighting for you. Please hold unto Him firmly and don't let go, your man is on the way. God bless you

  12. @Michael Kadiri, what do you mean by an already made man? So because I am supposed to help a man I should reject marriage if he is made and I love him? The way you men reason at times, smh. Sweety your life is a testimony and greater and better things will happen in your life

  13. It's painful but all thanx to God dat u r out from it.ur family should release the man and his family cos urs is on d way. U took a bold step nd made a fantastic decision so am proud of u.But next tym, make d necessary enquiries.

  14. Cry baby cry. But don't kill yourself. 3 years of emotional investment gone up in smoke? Thank God you have not ´completely´ committed to him. YOU ARE A RARE GEM daughter of Zion.

  15. im so sorry. Your story is a pathetic one. I think you should let it go and let God do the rest. Locking him up will not bring back your wasted years with him. Let it go.

  16. That's the importance of breeding our kids the right way,... You were only able to overcome and survive this situation cos you had informed your family from the start, and you knew they will stand by you.. (Which they are doing)... Am not jst looking at the man who betrayed you now,... I am trying to picture what type of family they are... #God_bless_Godly_homes


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