Thursday, December 31, 2015

Should I Tell my Dad or Bear This Alone?

Good day ma....I am in tears as I type this so I don't think I can type much,but if you and AVLites are able to remember 22 years old girl who said somethings about her cruel step mum and her mum dating another man while we are still staying under dad's roof cos she has been alone for more than six years will really help if you could remember...
I am only 22 but I have to take care of my own personal life and my family's own being the first child but I don't think I can any longer cos it's choking me...
In my school,if you need to get admission, you must be an indigene of the state,know someone who can help you from the top or pay huge amount of money especially for HND that I have been trying to get its admission or they will offer you part time course which government does not recognise and one won't also go for service. In my school there is no merit...
Last two years dad insisted we use step mum's cousin who worked as a non teaching staff in my school, I reluctantly accepted, why?... Cos I don't know why step mum had to ask me severally when I finished OND if I had carry over or not and even made me call the class representative then (may his soul rest in peace) to confirm if there was edit of results... It showed in her eyes that I disappointed her by passing.
At the end of the day I was offered part time,meaning her cousin just collected N50, 000 without doing any follow up cos my friend that didn't even meet up with the cut off mark and paid lesser money got full time admission.. Knowing fully well I won't go for service,won't have NYSC certificate which was important to be attached to CV, dad and step mum asked me to go for part time... I never liked science line, I have always wanted to become a writer and a newscaster but dad insisted I study chemistry so he can get me a job simply because he has petroleum stations and has connection with NNPC, I was young then and had no choice than to comply...
They both also made sure I went to polytechnic even when I was qualified and had a friend whose dad worked at a reputable University, their reasons then was that polytechnics are good at practical than university... I complied and studied science laboratory technology and looked forward to study chemistry at Higher National Diploma.
I thought within myself why so I have to waste my time for three years doing something that I was not worthy of so I decided to pretend to be in school but worked with a big laundry service with my OND but later told mum about it.
A times dad would send my monthly feed fee lately, he asked me to stay in the hostel to avoid house rent even when he has the money, the hostel money was N10, 000 which wasn't enough to get a room outside school and I couldn't stay in the hostel so I had to squat with a friend.
It wasn't easy,as a lady I needed so many things but all he would send was money for food which wasn't even enough and mum was very broke . I endured everything patiently...
Last year I told dad I wanted to obtain another form and put in for full time,but step mum was the one who stood against me that it would be a waste of money that I should continue with the part time . Dad also supported her and said he had no dime to give me and he heard part time is for three years so he is counting cos after that three years he is paying no more money
I obtained another form and paid someone for follow up from my savings... My name came out on full time list only for me to see my name again now on fake admission lists... We just finished second semester exam and hoping to resume for HND 2 when they discovered some fake admission while trying to send names to NYSC
I have been patiently enduring so many things from my personal life and home which I can't discuss everything and you won't be able to imagine... I have been trying to be a good girl cos I know my siblings and mum are looking up to me and step mum and some other people are waiting for my failure, I prayed and studied even harder last semester only to fall this way while my mates will be going for service by February.
It is certain my beloved 'charmed brained' dad won't listen,my cruel step mum who always wish her six and four years old sons can grow up faster and become as old as my siblings and I are will be so happy to know what just happened and my mum and siblings will be disappointed.
Now, I can't go home, I will have nowhere to stay when my friend goes for service by February
The question now is... Should I look for a job again besides I learnt how to make hand leather bags and slippers/sandals,I also write novels and two is with the publisher with the help of someone... I can combine them a room and wait till next year for another admission but I will be the one to sponsor myself throughout only God knows if I will have the strength and faith to withstand everything or go home and explain everything.
It is certain it won't change the story to stay with mum and siblings but people who knows I ought to finish next year will start asking questions... I'm even thinking of changing my phone number if later I decide to stay here in school cos it is easier getting a job here being in the city than home which is a town....
Sorry for the long write up. Thanks.

We can't blame your step mum and your father for all the misfortunes and the challenges that you are currently experiencing. That will be accepting that you are not responsible and organised as a lady and I know that it's not really the case but perhaps lack of foresight to the opportunities and limitations of your choices and decisions you made. 
You allowed your sentiments against your step mum and your dad and the circumstances surrounding your family to push you into taking some decisions that were not smart enough which was why this befell you. 
Granted that things were hard and your dad and his new wife may no longer offer you the kind of love and affection that you crave for, you should have stood up for what you wanted and not allow anyone to push you into the programme you never wanted. 
Even if you wanted to reapply for a full time programme, it would have been much better for you to continue with the part time programme while you made further consultation concerning your options to getting admitted into the university or a full time programme. 
Deciding to work for money at the expense of your dad's school fees and monthly feeding only confirmed the fears of your step mum. 
Since this has happened,you have two options, either to confess to your dad your challenges in school and accept any decision he may make concerning this or decide within you to keep that away from anyone else and sit down and organise yourself to write another admission examinations. 
In that case, you will need to make out time to study your books and then engage in businesses that will generate funds for you while you are in the school environment instead of working in a firm where you may never have enough time to study your books. 
It also means that you will need to discipline yourself and manage every resources that you can lay your hands on while trusting God to give you genuine admission instead of sorting for admission through a fake means. 
In any case,just prepare for the worst and trust God for the very best. 
I am happy that you have decided to develop yourself by acquiring some skills and virtues that will enhance your personality and vision in life. 
You need some level of education and training to enable you to excel in your writing skills and in other phase of your journey.
There is nothing that is beyond God, please seek him especially when you are overwhelmed by the challenges of life and lean on him to strengthen your heart and give you the wisdom and courage that you need to prosper in all your endeavours. 

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