Am a girl of 23 years have been into several relationships and non was successful,after the last relationship I promised not to go into any relationship,until after I graduate as I will be graduating this year by God's grace. Ma there's this guy who I have known since my 100 level, we were friends and we were so close,just recently his girlfriend broke up with him and he started asking me to look for a good girl for him,I told him I don't look for girls for guys and that it's his right to choose who his heart aches for,but he continued disturbing me about looking for one for him.
Ma, later on he professed his love for me, I asked him why me, he said after the break up with his ex and I also said I don't have a girl I can bring for him,he felt am a good girl,am not after money,and all that. Ma I told him I can't as I just had a break up but he kept persisting. He wanted to do everything for me, he kept telling me everything that concerns him seeks for my advice,and now I so much love him,he is talking marriage ma and am not ready for it.
He is seriously disturbing me so that I will agree to his marriage proposal so we can marry this year. Ma, am so scared right now firstly, I don't like his tribe but am not looking at tribe but personality,secondly he drinks,his dad is really disturbing him and I feel he wants to use me as bait,because whenever he calls he sounds desperate,ma I want to achieve something in life,I want to assist my husband I don't want to be a liability,I don't want my kids to suffer what I suffered, want to give them the best,ma he later opened up to me that his dad is so rich and he wants to sponsor his marriage because his dad really wants him to marry.
That's my most fear I really want a man who can stand on his own without his dad's money,note he is not after his dad's wealth as he is so down to earth. Please ma I need your advice on this I fear for tomorrow,don't want to suffer what my mum suffered,because after her suffering she died,so sorry for the lengthy write-up and God bless you
I feel so excited about this but my heart is a bit not happy with the haste to which the proposal came.
Let me begin with you:
How much of this man do you really know? He's your friend, close, nice and his girlfriend broke up with him.
I didn't see anything from your mail that could say that you at least know him personally, deeply and genuinely. He looks like a father Christmas, so handsome but you simply can't tell whether he's dark or fair. He's down to earth but is he emotionally, psychologically and spiritually mature?
What is his personal relationship with God like?
Does he have a genuine relationship with God because any man who doesn't submit to God will definitely not know how to protect his wife or take good care of his family. He will freely cheat and do anything as the boss.
Can you say that this man desires to be committed, accountable, and responsible for his decision to marry even unto death?
What is his purpose in life and his source of income?
I'm excited that his father is rich and he wants to sponsor his marriage but who is this man? Will he be able to stand if his father's wealth isn't sufficient to cater for your needs and the need of your children? How will he be able to stand independent of his father if there is need for that? Will he be able to keep his father and mother and relatives out of your marriage?
Since his girlfriend broke up with him, what will happen if the girl returns back to him perhaps after you may have married him? Will he return to her or cheat with her?
He drinks and he's getting married because his dad is pressurising him to get married. Now let me ask you, can you cope with a man who drinks and by extension cheats? Can you cope with a man who his father drives left, right, up and down?
Do you think that this man is emotionally prepared for this marriage he's rushing you into?
Are you willing to submit to him in all sincerity of heart even if it may not be comfortable for you? Are you prepared to play your role as his wife, mother, companion and his bosom friend? Do you have the skills and the virtues to organise your home and help your husband achieve his purpose in life?
You see, I have tons of questions than you can possibly imagine and if you ask me, I would suggest that you give this relationship some time like six months to one year so that the feelings of desiring to kiss, hug and hold each other will settle so that the reality of your individual differences will manifest for you to decide whether he's truly what you want or just a relationship of convenience.
Please do not be in a haste to give a man an answer because you will receive the impact of your decision after you have accepted to grow with him. You can tell how your mother suffered so please do not let the flashy things you are currently looking at make you to give up your happiness and fulfilment in life and destiny.
Pray and pray more than you have ever done because when it comes to marriage, it's a journey through the ages of your life and with every passing age comes with experience that redefines your life.
Please encourage him to give you some time to pray and seek the face of God and to also get to know him, his plans and his vision in life.
Remember, wealth, appearance and the influence of his father are merely what surrounds him but you will only live with his personality for the rest of your life so do not give an answer to a man you are not convinced or comfortable with.
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ReplyDeleteKindly study the man before saying I do.
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