Saturday, January 2, 2016

I'm Losing my Marriage!

Good day Amara...I am a 29 years old girl..I married since 2009,traditionally. This man stays in USA..
It was an arranged marriage and I have grown to love him.. He was a nice man but my problem with him is he has hot temper and whenever we had misunderstanding he told his mother and sister who also stays in USA and they make matters worst for me..They will turn his mind against me..
When we quarrel it pains me most when he switched off his line and will not call me nor answer my calls.. In anger I sent him ugly text message and called him names and when the mother and sister heard it, they told him to quit the marriage and he listened to them..
I love him so much.. In 2011 we had a quarrel, his mother and sister separated us for more than two years to the extent that he came back to Nigeria and remarried, I didn't know but the marriage did not work out.. It was last two months he came back to me, begged me and my family and because of love I forgave him and we did court wedding on 15th of November and he went back to start processing my Papers so I can join him..
It was on 1st of the month December we had another quarrel through phone.. Up till now he has not called me nor answered my calls.. I called the sister and the mother there to wish them merry Christmas, non answered me nor called me.. I believe they have conspired to make my husband turn against me again.. My husband told me to move on,that he is done with play like play is happening...
Am losing my husband again... I have apologised to my husband.. I have been begging through text messages but to no avail..I have been going crazy.. It's not been easy for me.

I am angry and pained that you couldn't even get to know the man you call your husband before you hurriedly took him to your family for your traditional marriage and the court wedding at your age and exposure in life. 
I mean what exactly were you thinking when you accepted a man you rarely knew anything about. 
Well in all sincerity you are stuck in with a baby boy who is controlled by his mother and sister and you can see the results of such a bondage you called marriage. 
Well I don't think that you have any grip on this man or in your marriage, maybe you should open your eyes and ears so that you can use both of them to see that there was no marriage here and possibly retrace your steps to where you began. 
Where there is no communication, there is nothing that you can possibly do and since he tried remarrying earlier, he may as well return back to the second option. 
So kindly dust yourself up and use this new year to meditate on whether to continue hoping and waiting for his response or to return his dowry and nullify the marriage. 
Maybe you will learn a lesson or two from rushing into marriage all because he lives abroad or because he buys many gifts for you. 
I know that you are in love with him but he's not emotionally prepared to make the marriage work but looks like a man who was pushed to marry so that he can have some children. 
I pray that God will have mercy on you though. 


  1. Marriage is like going into the battlefront with a 'fellow soldier'. If this is the picture of marriage,and it is,what factors do you think would be responsible for your survival and not just 'survival',but also thriving and blossoming?
    Love? Not enough. God? Indispensable. Beauty? Not really necessary? Self-Control? Very important. Character? Very very important. Maturity? Very,very,very important,in addition to other factors.
    But,what if you entered the battlefield with a non-soldier,or that you are the 'bloody civilian', will be dead even before arrival(D.B.A.).
    Love is never enough to make ANYTHING work. Wisdom is. Please,listen and MARRY RIGHT!
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  2. My dear am sorry to tell you that you are wasting your precious time with this stranger you call your husband.7good years, you don't have a child for him? you just got wedded few months ago! you have not joined him there?. Dear poster when you talk of loving this man, I don't want to be decived at all, am sure it's the USA that this man is residing the you are in love with. To cut the long story short and if you really want an advice from this platform bid this relationship farewell. It's not for you. Good luck.

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  4. It's very sad but the best way to go about it inform the embassy since he's taking you for granted and ask for a divorce and through there you will have legal right of ownership, trust me you


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