Saturday, January 2, 2016

I'm Close to Taking Substance!

Aunty Amara good evening to you! You are a true gem and I find solace in your page whenever my depression sets in...
I show the world my happy life, meanwhile I am dying in silence...
I am now 24 years of age and I have three beautiful kids that gives me hope. I am so depressed that depression is now an understatement. I got married when I was barely 18 years and I am becoming overwhelmed with the behaviour of my husband.
I live in fear because my husband has a terrible temperament. He hits me at will and in those times he abused me, he can never explain to his family the reason why he battered me... He even let loose in front of my kids of which I don't want my children to know about our ordeal so it won't affect their young minds.
I got married foolishly out of love and I am now regretting it. I haven't finished my schooling and it's even difficult for him to pay my fees.. I have nothing doing and I have lots of talents that every human being will get jealous of, but he would not let me socialize or go out freely..
I stay at home taking care of the kids day and night making it a routine throughout my life.. I am so hopeless because I am so calm and I don't know how to speak for myself... I feel so inferior to the world and I feel left out..
Meanwhile the man I am breaking down for goes out at will and has over ten women who definitely keeps him satisfied. . I am the best of my kind and people around me love and respect me.
But why can't my hubby love me and leave me alone and stop battering me. I am close to taking some substance because I feel useless in the world right now..
What can I do to myself cos I am at a breaking point?

When you look into the eyes of your beautiful children, you will realise that truly you are not inferior or worthless in this world. 
I also would love to remind you that you do have a right to your health, safety and security of your life and children. You cannot continue to tolerate and endure constant battering all in the name of Marriage because if your life is threatened, it will have an adverse effect on your children who will be forced to live in pains and struggle all the rest of their life. 
This you don't want to happen, we have non governmental agencies that fight against all form and manner of physical abuse in marriage and please do not wait until you are crushed before you open up to someone. 
We cannot continue to condone abusive partners and expect our society and our children to change for the better. 
Please do not be afraid or live in fear anymore, that is not what marriage entails. This year kindly sit your husband down and have a heart to heart talk with him stressing that you will not condone abuses in the marriage from him. 
No matter what you may do or say, there is no justification for physical battering and it must be dealt with if you hope to see your children prosper in life. 
You also have the church and your family to report to but please after discussing with him and there is any threat to your life, kindly report to the welfare department of the Security agency for prompt follow up. 
If you are at your breaking limit, you may need to take a break from your marriage to enable you meditate on the marriage and what you feel is best for you and your children. 
Nobody deserves the death of another all because they are married to him so you should not close your mouth and watch your life sink down into oblivion God forbid! 
Begin now to explore ways to make some money while you take care of your children like acquiring some vocational skills and trainings that can equip you financially. 
Also pray for your marriage and your children that God will show you mercy and give you the grace to manage your home and take good care of your children. 
I understand what you are going through and I know that God will deliver you from the torture of your husband and your marriage. 

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