Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Our Sex Life is not Consistent!


Good morning to you ma and good morning to everyone ..... Ma I seriously need an urgent advice from you. I am 27 and my husband is 28 years .... I am using his phone to write to you,we wedded in December after dating for one year.
During the period of our dating we kept ourselves till after wedding night, but now because of our experience recently I am regretting why I did not sleep with him or take in during the period of our wedding. My husband is a Wonderful man,he is the best, he adores me ,he worships me ,with him I am made whole, we are best friends, I believe there are good men out there and I am lucky I found one. He is a very busy person but am in his heart every second, he loves me greatly but there is a problem which I believe I will find a solution to it here because I don't believe in going from one prayer house to the other to find solution.
I am a praying wife,I shake heaven when it comes to prayers, God has been answering me but I don't know why he is keeping quiet on this issue after our wedding night, I had a dream where I saw a man that was sitting beside my husband,in that dream I fought the man and hit him three times on his chest before he disappeared. Ever since then that dream kept coming to my mind but I prayed seriously against it, since after our wedding we have been passing through emotional pains because of our sexual life, due to the off and on in love making.It is not consistent husband has an erection but when he wants to go in it will go down,we make love sometimes but right now I am in my ovulation period and we have not made love but only twice because of this issue. Please ma, with all this can I be able to have my own children? Please educate us seriously on sex and how we can produce our own children because it is the beauty of every marriage,and my husband has been experiencing this stomach noise and my own has started too what could be the cause please?
Note that he has gone to different hospitals to do some series of test but his results are good , some Doctors said is sexual dysfunction ,some said it's a pshycological problem maybe because of the financial stress we passed through during and before our wedding.
I have been very down because of this issue likewise him too,please ma I want to enjoy my marriage to the fullest I love my husband so much,he places me first before any other thing,he can die for me. Please I want us to be happy ,we are thinking a lot,could it be spiritual problem? We are currently on 21 days fasting using Our daily Manna....plus mid night...
My husband was not really devoted before now but I changed him totally now he is completely devoted to God,please ma I want a happy marriage but this issue is weighing us down .... My desire is to take in immediately after our wedding but the challenges of this non consistently in sex... It got me thinking ,please we need your advice,thanks a lot we are holding our phone to read your reply.
Have a great Day.



I smiled all through your mail not because I'm mocking your challenge but because your heart is beautiful and full of love and the beauty reflected in your mail and in the unity of purpose which you and your husband displayed in your desire to experience a beautiful marriage.
Indeed these are the kind of couples that God himself will come down to dwell with because you and your husband have chosen to be one in all aspects of your marriage including on social media. To be candid, I felt like hugging you and your husband because God is indeed proud of you and your husband.
Bible said that when you work with your husband, demons and devil will fly away from you and there's nothing that can defeat you and your husband and your children. Be grateful because you are already victorious.
Please do not regret why you kept yourself before wedding, because you have no idea what God prevented you from experiencing. You have no idea whether you would have been with this unique husband that God blessed you with. You have no idea whether you would have ended up a single mother or with deadly infections.
Those who choose to keep their body for their husband do have eternal reward from God so do not feel bad because God wouldn't deceive you to do what is harmful for your life and marriage.
God just directed your steps to me because he knew that you will get the answers that you were looking for here so God never kept quiet but revealed where you could go to get your answers.
Sex is a beautiful part of marriage and a unique gift from God for couples. This is where the oneness is revealed as the penis perfectly fits into the vagina in a holy covenant of one blood and one breath and one passion.
What you are experiencing in your marriage is the pressure of conception which the society has infused into your body. Your handsome husband wants to conquer you with his penis so that you can call him the boss while you want to conceive so that you can report to your mum that "it has entered".
You don't need all those pressures at all, forget about conception and focus more on honeymoon.
Having sex as virgins is a learning programme and process, all you need is to be relaxed, free and as naked as you can. It's normal for him to go one round and get tired so do not get worried if he couldn't last longer than you anticipated but encourage him to relax once he has reached the orgasm.
Spend quality time with foreplay, kissing, romancing, suckling of your breast and your nipples. Encourage him to kiss you in your ears, lick up your vagina and gently suck your clitoris.
Take things gentle and slow and there is no need to rush into penetrative sex. This is not time for you to read books and pray against the devil who isn't even close to you but it's time to explore your body and discover areas that tickles you and makes you feel horny and aroused. Be open and let him know how you feel with every caressing or act of foreplay Read: The Art of Foreplay!
Please endeavour to shave off your hair so that the bush doesn't cover his face and hide the clitoris. Be clean but do not douch or use medicated soap to wash your vagina to avoid foul smell. Read : The Woman and Her Vagina!
On your own part, massage him, romance his chest and tickle his nipples too, kiss his ears and play with his testicles. Gently stroke his erect penis and if you don't mind, give him a blow job, (it's the suckling of his penis).
Let him be relaxed and comfortable with your vagina, it doesn't bite really. He can place the tip of his penis on your vagina so that he can get used to the vagina and then penetrate slowly, gently and rhythmically. No need for speed here so that he doesn't end up releasing faster than he should.
While he's at it, you may express yourself and let him know how you feel and how much you love him. Even if it be short, remember that the biggest room for improvement is in your sex room with your husband.
Every men had such awkward moment with their partner in their first sexual experience but with time and constant practice, they improved and became better and better.
So it's not a disaster yet, just a programme that will make him one with you and the beauty of this is that you and your husband will create a sexual experience that is unique to you and your husband alone with no pressure or worry to compete with one another.
There are food and supplements that will boost his erection and make him more consistent in sexual intimacy. Prepare meals with fresh garlic, ginger, white onions, carrot,and moringa seed or power.
They are natural detoxifiers and they boost the rate of blood flow to the penis during sexual intimacy which helps men to achieve erection faster and sustain it for a longer period of time.
If he drinks alcoholic drinks, he should cut down on it and on the consumption of fatty foods and eat more of vegetables and fruits in addition to balanced meal.
Try positions that will allow for deeper penetration like the missionary position (the husband is on top of you) the doggy style (the lady lays with her knees on the bed and her hands on the bed while the man enters from your back). You may also try the cow girl position, the spoon position and any other positions that you are comfortable with.
This is not the best time to fast and pray but I won't discourage you if you feel that you and your husband needs that now but your main purpose now is to enjoy your honeymoon and allow God to bless you with your twins.
Please do not be afraid or worried because nothing is wrong with you and your husband.
Let him eat well and relax his mind whenever both of you want to have sexual intercourse. It should be fun, free and beautiful. Be as naked as you wish and be shy of nothing, because it doesn't matter anyways, I mean he's your husband and you're his wife.
As for the noise in your tummy, it could be as a result of worries or tension or worms but nothing serious if you ask me.
Always remember that a troubled heart cannot conceive a pregnancy because your hormones act against the estrogen that should help you to conceive so you will be doing yourself a great favour to relax your mind and enjoy this sex like never before.
This is your marriage and anything you choose to do with your husband is righteous, Holy and beautiful, please do not allow anyone or pastor or the things you learnt while you were growing up be a hindrance to your sexual fulfilment as couples but loosen your heart, soul and body and mind and explore everything there is about sex.
Be as creative and as explosive as your can, express the beauty of your love to each other.
Happy married life to you and your handsome husband and pamper him pretty well when you get to the bed.

9 comments:

  1. Aunt Amara u've said it all. And Again poster... a baby can't come with a troubled mind and spirit. Focus on enjoying yourself and your husband. Try not to think about conceiving - I tell dear it will just come without you knowing. I was troubled about conceiving too but I decided to enjoy my life. Two months after am singing a new song.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear is too early to be anxious. Free your mind, you wont even know when you take in.Like Amara said, explore your body and make love not have sex. Enjoy your love making,gently as in slow and steady type, you will see your hubby will last long. You two are too young to be worrying yourself about conception now,as lon as you make love twice or three times each week as the case may be, my dear, you will come back and testify as in "e don enter mood'.Above all leave everything to God, is only him that know the perfect time to give. Enjoy your marriage and worry less dear.

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  3. for the issue of the stomach making noise and erection issue ,please see a doctor,it might be a symptom of infection

    ReplyDelete
  4. what a beautiful couple, To add to it, please feed him well especially with fruits like water melon, banana and vegetables, I had the same experience with my husband but with Patience and prayers we conquered it all, right now we engage in sex for 3 hours without getting tired. All these you can practice after your fasting programs so he can feed well and balanced diet, bcos I know poor feeding affects sexual life. I wish you well dear sister

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    Replies
    1. you are very right

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    2. You are correct

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  5. AVl, u are simply d best, laddened with u quantifiable wisdom. I was just laughing as I read ur well furnished advice n counsel. HUGS for u AVL. Poster see u the other side.

    ReplyDelete
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