Wednesday, January 27, 2016

What's my Fate "Update"!

Am the husband to the woman, that just posted about being married in 2014, and claimed to be beating by her husband and claimed that I asked her to go Read: What's my Fate!
Ma please, all she said was never true, please ma ask her whose surname does she bear on Facebook, while I have asked her to change the surname after our wedding in 2014, the truth was that we didn't date ourselves before the marriage, and after the wedding, I found out that I married a stubborn, disobedient, unsubmissive and unforgiving woman, who called me names like idiot, wicked man , fool, etc anytime we had a quarrel, which I reported to the parents to correct her but they refused to do that, rather they told me that she was not a slave.
Then around April last year she packed her things and told me that she won't continue with the marriage after which we had a quarrel at night, because of bathing water which I asked her to fetch out for pentecostal but she refused then I went and fetched the water from drum and took my bath then she started shouting at me and saying that the marriage was nonsense, then in the morning I went to her room and told her sorry and asked her if there was something to eat she said nothing that I should give her transport money that she would bring the food to my shop later then I went out to shop.
Then around 10am she called me and told me that she was not interested in the marriage again and would go back to her father's house, meanwhile the mother has been the brain behind all these because she never wanted me to marry her daughter because am a Catholic and they were Pentecostal which I told my wife that I won't change church because of marriage and she accepted likewise my mum.
Since she went back on her own I have gone to her father's house to bring her back when she was still pregnant after she agreed to follow me home but on my getting there after meeting her parents, the father told me that she would come back but the mother told me openly that she won't return, then I gave my wife transport money to come but she went and paid back the money in my account along with the money I gave her for the antenatal care and closed her account, and stayed back and delivered the baby there.
Then I went and saw her after the delivery of the baby with provisions and clothes I bought and told her to call me to come and pay for the hospital bills, but on getting to the hospital to pay the bills, the mother rushed me and refused that I should not pay the bill but through the intervention of the nurses I was able to pay the bill.
Then on 27th December last year I went to their house with my brother and my uncle to see my child and my wife and to ask my wife to come back home but on getting there, the brother started fighting me and threatened to kill me and asked me to leave the father's house. If not for my brother and uncle only God knows what would have happened, and the mother was supporting him to fight, so based on that I have to go to the welfare, so that I will be having access to my child and to be given the custody when the child is due, because my wife have insisted that the mother must be involved before we can settle our matters even after Rev Fr has called us to settle within our self, meanwhile the mother has once told me that the kinsmen would bring her daughter's bride price, likewise my wife too.
Meanwhile my wife doesn't pick my calls because I do call her to know about my child and herself, and she has blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp, I do call her on daily basis yet she won't pick the calls.

I am happy that you chose to respond to her mail and to also give me a clearer picture of what went wrong in your marriage.
From your mail, you and your wife is fighting a religious battle and she doesn't seem to be comfortable with your place of worship perhaps because of the influence of her mother in your marriage. This could have been the reason for her stubborn and disobedient attitude and I feel that you could have managed her reaction much better than you did. 
Though she didn't open up in her mail but if you beat her and maltreatment her while she was with you and was pregnant for your daughter, well I feel that it wasn't the best approach to resolve your differences than to beat her or maltreat her with her pregnancy. 
And I hope that you will be patient with her and her family so that you and her can fine tune the grey areas of your marriage and reunite together. 
It's painful how a beautiful marriage is struggling to survive because of parental influence in your marriage. I hope and hope that you will find a place in your heart to forgive your wife and strive to win her heart in your marriage. 

To you the wife, 
I am sincerely angry with the way and manner you have managed your home. It is sincerely obvious that you are not emotionally mature and spiritually prepared for marriage and have decided to invent your mother in your marriage. 
It is painful that after you openly and willingly accepted to worship with your husband in his place of worship, you connived with your mother to destroy your marriage. 
What has your husband done to deserve this wickedness from you and your family? Were you pushed to marry him or was there anything that he hid from you to warrant that you and your family does not want him to have access to his daughter? 
He sent money and you rejected it, but have resorted to observing and monitoring your husband. That's totally unacceptable for you to make his life miserable. 
While I totally condemn every act of physical abuse no matter the circumstances, I also do know that there are some attitude and character that could push a gentle man into being defensive and angry which will make him to overreact by beating you. 
This young man has a legitimate right to where he wishes to worship and if you weren't comfortable with that, you could have made your life easier by rejecting his proposals instead of tagging him and his mother wicked. 
As an adult and as a lady please wake up and stop breastfeeding from your mother and plan your life. Stop all this drama and decide for yourself what you want in life but please stop punishing this young man because he chose to worship in Catholic Church. 
For the fact that one worships in the pentecostal church doesn't mean that you should not submit to your husband nor does it mean that you are spiritually more mature than he is and even if you feel that your church is better than his, by the virtue of the fact that you are married to him, your first duty as his wife is to submit to his spiritual authority over your life. This is what God ordained in his word and your place of worship doesn't change anything in that. 
Please stop feeding yourself with all the rubbish you are getting from your friends and supporters because sooner than later you will realise that you are solely alone in your thoughts.
Go back and fix your home, you and your husband should put your family and relatives out of your marriage and agree to work together with one purpose. Your place of worship doesn't guarantee that you will make heaven, your personal relationship with God is what determines how far you will go in your journey to eternity. 
You cannot be insulting and abusing your husband verbally and expect him not to react by being violent and if you feel that you are not emotionally mature for marriage, then discuss with your husband and sort things out from there but if you want this marriage to work, you must leave your mother's opinions out of your home, she's already in her own marriage so go and make your own marriage work. 
I am praying for you already because you are on a path that may crush everything you cherish as an individual if you don't make amends and work with your husband to make your marriage work. 


  1. is your wife 10?, cos her reason and attitude seems so.

  2. It's well. The man shouldn't stop making attempt to see his kids and d woman should pls leave her family out of her marriage

  3. Its well. Anyone dat involves third party in his or her marriage is not matured in mind. Woman grow up

  4. Dear wifey,a wise woman builds her home bit a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. You will be shocked that after your mother have helped you fight your supposed''common enemy'', she would turn against you and will not hesitate to tell you to go to your own husband's house at the slightest provocation(because it's obvious that she's troublesome). If you cannot submit to your husband,why did you get married to him?

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