Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Can God Still Use Me?

Good afternoon aunty Amara. I have been having this problem of forgetting my past. My childhood experience was a bad one,I was molested and introduced to several sexual acts by the men I termed uncles while growing up in my neighbourhood and this was because my dad gave them rooms from our house and being a young girl growing up I was molested and abused.
I didn't tell mummy because they instilled fear in me and back then my dad was a great disciplinarian and every little thing we did that requires scolding was taken to the extent of flogging us and most times we bled so I could not confide in my dad and mum. I got admission in the university later on with no value for myself so I sought for love and being so naive I fell into wrong hands and was raped by a guy who claimed to love me at the age of 17 and because of that I hated myself and if I forgive myself and move on another heartbreak comes knocking.
I have been in several relationships that didn't work out and its affecting me badly. The worst of it all is that I get depressed and feel like I'm the worst sinner on earth. I'm a gospel song writer and a composer but because of this problems I can't forge ahead. Please do you think God can still make use of me? Do you think He is still angry with my past and my childhood lifestyle? I'm 21 now and I'm still hurt and depressed.
Please I want to hear from you aunty Amara. Help me out of this. God bless you from T.

God has already forgiven you and have already accepted you in his heart. The moment you realised that the devil was working tirelessly hard to destroy your future and confided in God who wouldn't use cain to instil fear and timidity in your life, you became free from the shackles of the devil. The Bible says in Romans 8 vs 1 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2 ESV
So what you need to do is first forgive yourself in your days of ignorance and then submit yourself to God in all totality. Because in Christ Jesus there is safety, peace, eternal joy, liberty and fulfilment and nothing else comes close to that. You need divine healing process and no boyfriend can help you grow beyond your pains if you do not choose from the depth of your heart to let go of the unpalatable childhood molestation and your mistakes in the past.
Choose to forgive those who have exploited your vulnerability and accept yourself irrespective of how you feel that others may perceive you.
Love yourself, speak good about yourself, understand your personality and appreciate your peculiarity. Your experiences of the past has made you wiser, smarter and more discerning for your future.
Instead of feeling inferior, let God's word strengthen your heart and soul so that you can devote your heart to your passion. Whenever you meet a prospective partner, please do not allow your emotions to push you beyond your own safety. Do not fight to keep your partner or feel that without sex, no man will commit himself to you.
Allow the Holy spirit to guide you and learn to trust in God and not in your efforts. Great husband comes from God and your duty is to prepare yourself and devote your heart to your passion while you prayerfully and patiently prepare for him. When you meet him, everything will fall into place at the appropriate time and then you will enjoy the beauty of trusting God for your blessing.
Do not give up on your passion for writing gospel songs, and do not walk far away from God's grace. He's all you need and even in your weaknesses and nakedness, it's wiser to run to his loving arms because he's not just your father, he's your inseparable family and the most reliable friend of all friends.


  1. Please read ODM (Our daily manner ) devotional, February 8th, 9th and 10th respectively. There's need for you to forgive yourself so that you can move on, though it seems difficult, ask for His grace. Peace.

  2. Please read ODM (Our daily manner ) devotional, February 8th, 9th and 10th respectively. There's need for you to forgive yourself so that you can move on, though it seems difficult, ask for His grace. Peace.

  3. Please read ODM (Our daily manner ) devotional, February 8th, 9th and 10th respectively. There's need for you to forgive yourself so that you can move on, though it seems difficult, ask for His grace. Peace.

  4. Hi dear...I was also sexually abused too as a you described above, it was the worst experience of my life...I lived in fear, I had depression for years, I cried almost everyday, I was always in my thought,I was very nervous and avoid staying around people...I was just existing and not leaving, and trust me, It cost me a lot.....I missed opportunities, lagged behind in so many areas...The healing started some years back, and it was a long one and still an ongoing process for me till now.....Here is what helped me, Talk to someone, the devil planted fear in me for years too that no one will ever love me if I tell them...pray that God should direct you to someone or sent someone to you, make sure its a Christian and reliable person.....Open your mouth and talk, trust me it helps.........2}work on your thoughts ..believe and say God loves you deeply, you are not defined by what people did to not believe the lies of the devil......3) I listened to joyce meyer, she was also sexually abused....listen or get her books...joyce meyer or t.d jakes.....4)..Pray and spend time with God...tell him to heal does wonders....5)....if you are a melancholy like me, it could be tough, so don't be hard on yourself.......or overthink...just learn to sing worship songs....6) Go online and read about the side effect of abuse and if you can seek futher help, pls not be are whole in Christ, there'snothing wrong with you....and finally..7)....The right man and God ordained man for you will love you,,,trust me, I ve read and seen abused victims getting married nd having great homes......but pls, start working on yourself now, I met great and good guys, but becus I was hurt and could not accept love, it affected my life even if the right man appears today, if you are still to bitter and down, you might not be able to accept his are not alone, abuse is d devils way of limiting pple early in life, just like me....fight hard in prayer, read stuffs on abuse, talk to pple, seek help.....take care..lots of love!

  5. Its a psychological feeling and its normal but my dear, you don't need to dwell on the past forever.
    Try and have a good relationship with God your creator who loves Us and died for us even when we were yet sinners. I know and understand what you are feeling but Remember that the devil comes to KILL, STEAL and DESTROY but God came to give us LIFE in ABUNDANCE. God has already forgiven you when you understood that you were doing the wrong thing. He(God)can still use you as He did to Paul the persecutor then in the bible. What of Magdalene, she was the first to see the risen Christ and applied the most costly oil on Jesus leg because of the love Christ showed her and Him Christ is still showing you and I today. Forget about the past because God is doing something new in your life. The best husband and friend is what you will have when you leave ALL to God. SOMETIMES, THE LORD CAN OVER LOOK OUR WEAKNESS AS FAR AS WE CALL UPON HIM EVEN IN OUR WEAKNESS. ITS WELL WITH YOU DAUGHTER OF HEAVEN


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