Thursday, February 11, 2016

Is There Anything Else I Can Do?

Good evening ma'am .You are just gift to our generation. May God increase you in wisdom and knowledge and my sincere condolence!!!. Please aunty, am a follower of this forum. Let me start here the lady I love slipped off my fingers, I have tried everything humanly possible to get her back yet it yielded no fruit. Our relationship have come of age, we have taken steps towards marriage. All of a sudden she changed the whole thing. Reasons being that I doubt her a lot and don't trust her a bit and so on.
Note : Sometimes she wouldn't respond to my questions, and would be like "must you know everything and so on" which she wasn't like that before, I know am the jealous type but not that I don't trust her because if I don't I shouldn't have taken a step towards marriage .
Note: We dated for a year now and we are far from each other (distance relationship). Friends and relatives have tried talking to her to see reason, it's because we are far from each other. Even the both families ,yet she hardened her heart.
It is two months now that this was happening ,because of my far distance I had to involve those close to her but she said it's over . Am in one of the distanced ECOWAS countries, for this reason I left for Nigeria just to make it up with her but it became worse. She is a Corp member (NYSC) and will be passing out in two months time . We had planned life together, shared every ideas and secrets .
To cut it short ,I love her so dearly after God is her, everybody has backed off and mad at me, I should let her go? But am not finding anything interesting in another woman. Ma it's true that am jealous and feel insecure some of the times but she should understand it's love, still need her .Is there anything else I can do?
Because I have reminded her of our memorable days and so on yet it gets worse. She is not picking up my calls anymore nor replying my chat. I have prayed, my first day of the prayer she chatted me in I quote"I really love you so much ,I have been in tears all day and blabla" I went and saw her ,and we had good times ,but she went back to her "it is over "again.
The following day I left for my base and since then she has turned monster towards me and was saying nasty and unimaginable things."I persuaded her to take a step to marriage whilst she was the one pleading I should do something so that we can pronounced husband and wife".
Someone is confusing, her!!..I have tried letting her go(if she is mine she will stay ) but .....

Jealousy is like salt, a small amount of it is what you need to make your meal sweet but when it's in excess, the food becomes a waste for all. If you in all sincerity admitted to being insecure and jealous and always convert every opportunity you have to discuss with your partner as a moment for investigative journalism and cross examination, you will always lose the affection of those who believe in your personality and appreciate you for who you are.
It's healthy to want to know more about your partner but you should realise that your partner just as you desire some level of respect, appreciation, trust, understanding and patience. You have to learn to believe that not all ladies are promiscuous or liars or cheat and for the fact that you are in a relationship with a lady doesn't in any way suggest that you have the right to make her life miserable and terrible. It's only an evidence that you don't believe that she deserves to be free from so much monitoring and emotional abuse.
If you do not address this trend, you may end up making a terrible decision in your marriage which you will leave to regret for the rest of your life. Instead of channelling your energy to jealousy and insecurity, channel your energy to developing yourself, appreciating your personality, understanding your needs and preparing yourself to follow your passion.
Focus more on winning the heart of your partner through friendship and not through emotional torture, learn to be patient with your partner and avoid making assumptions because of the reaction of your partner. Circumstances and challenges of life can affect the mood and the emotional atmosphere of your relationship so you must learn not to listen with your ears alone but to listen with your heart and learn to be patient instead of being in a haste.
What you need is a lady who loves you so much that even if you are miles away from her, she will always commit herself to you. Working on your attitude will greatly have a beneficial impact in your life and in your relationship with others.
Since your partner feels that she cannot continue with you and even after all you have done to win her heart, she seems not to convinced, I may suggest that you encourage her to write to me so that I can understand what could be going on in her mind and find out what her plans or views or opinions are as regards the relationship.
Until then kindly give her some space and allow her to evaluate herself and decide on what's best for herself. Two months would be enough for her to sort herself and then you can make plans to either continue with the relationship or bid her goodbye.

1 comment:

  1. Jealousy is good and bad. If you truly love something jealousy is a sure proof. God is a jealous God. Having said that, pls beware of anyone who is secretive and very economical with truth about himself or herself. He or she may be carrying some evil loads. Truth and love are the foundation of any long lasting relationship. Where there is no truth, trust is lost, suspicion and jealousy will be the order of the day. Any man or woman who cannot open up to you is already giving you a reason to suspect and distrust him or her. That person is a disaster waiting to happen.


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