Thursday, March 17, 2016

My Conscience is Judging Me!

Good morning ma, please I need your advice on this issue. Have been married for two years and and I have never enjoyed the marriage at all. My husband abuses me on any little mistakes, he shouts on me unnecessarily. He is not romantic at all.
In fact the problem started during my pregnancy, at six months of the pregnancy, my husband started avoiding me, I begged for sex, and he will always complain that he was tired due to the nature of his business. I lived with him for two months before marriage and he has never complained of such. I later found out that he was in another relationship outside our marriage, that's why he refused me.
After delivery, I thought everything will be normal, it was even worse than I imagined, he started keeping late night, he no longer come close to me at all... But that didn't stop me from praying for him, and looking good, neat and sexy in order to get his attention, but all to no avail.. This is really giving me sleepless night and HBP. I don't have any affection for him anymore, I just feel like going back to my parents to avoid dying before my time.
Currently, am seeing another man who appreciates me, makes me happy and ready to marry me once I divorce my husband, but my conscience is really pricking me.

As long as you are still under the roof of your husband and you are still legally married to him, it's entirely wrong for you to be seeing another man and nobody would sympathise with you even when you may have genuine reasons for your actions. Instead of seeing another man while under your husband's house, it's better to seek for divorce and be free from him so that you can organise your life and decide what's best for you at this point in your life.
There is no man without a weakness and no marriage is without challenges. I understand that this wasn't what you bargained for but I feel that both of you can work on your challenges and resolve the challenges that is affecting your home.
You said that your husband shouts and abuses you unnecessarily, my question is where you guilty of the things that made him shout at you? Did you make any amends to correct your mistakes and did you make out time to talk to him about it and respectfully express your views towards his attitude to you whenever you do something that he wasn't comfortable with.
If you did and he was still shouting and abusing you, maybe you could have sort other ways to pass the message across to him.
You also said that you begged for sex within the six months of your conception, my concern is did you sit down with him to discuss your sexual needs with him and was there any efforts that you made to find out what could have been responsible for the change in his attitude? There are some ladies who unknowingly crush men's ego whenever they crave for sex only for them to come back and complain that he's denying them of sex. Was there a time when both of you had some sex struggles? And how was it resolved between both of you?
At the point when you realised that he was cheating on you, did you discuss that with him and did you go the extra mile to the involve your family and his into the challenge so that both of you can come to an agreement on what could have happened?
The reason why I'm asking all these questions is because your marriage is in a phase of understanding your personalities and individual peculiarities and there is every possibility that both of you may misunderstand each other and end up not resolving it amicably leading to an irreconcilable challenges.
I feel that if both of you can sit down and iron out the pressing issues in your marriage that both of you can achieve something beautiful and resume your honeymoon once again.
If you are still willing to give your heart to making your marriage to work, I will encourage you to tell your husband to write to me here so that I can have a word or two with him and find out what could have made him to forget so easily the endless love that made him welcome you into his home even before the world could celebrate with you.
I will also encourage you to always pray for your husband and your marriage that God will help him and guide him in all his endeavours so that he doesn't fall a victim of wrong choices and decisions in life. And instead of looking for another man to marry, I feel that you can give your heart to making your marriage the best for you and your husband.
But if you feel that you cannot cope with him anymore, please shut the door before getting entangled with another man.

1 comment:

  1. what make you think even the other man will be better, remember your husband changed during your pregnancy, the man you are seeing currently might be worst than your husband. my mum told me that there are trying and good times, I think, this is the right time to show him how much you love him, avoid nagging, and pray. with time everything will be better sooner than expected. divorcing isn't the best option, otherwise you will continue to divorce from marriage to marriage. this is not a big issue. take heart o!


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