Sunday, April 10, 2016

Am Dying Slowly!

Thanks ma for the good work you are doing. Please ma am really confused and don't know what to do as of now. Am devastated and don't know how to begin..
I met this guy in December 2013, we started dating around June 2014 and last year he came for my introduction and also we did our traditional marriage in January this year and our wedding has been fixed for 5th May and the invitation has been shared.
Am from Igbo while he is from Delta. He loved me so much and also stood for me in a lot of things. He supports me in anything I do but ma of recent his character started changing... I failed to mention that his family doesn't love me that much because am Igbo and they think that am way too smart for their son and that since I come from a wealthy family and the guy is not all that rich, I won't value him and am more educated than he is but I try as much to please them and show them that love but they don't value it.
He got this job in a hotel and since then he changed, as if something is actually controlling him from somewhere. He now drinks anyhow which he doesn't do and on one occasion he came back drunk and when I tried talking to him he beat me black and blue... Whenever such things happen, it will be as if the scale fell of his eyes and he will start apologising but ma, I can't take it again after the last one that happened two days ago, even our neighbours had to come and separate us and also my face and eyes was so swollen that I have not gone out since then.
I don't know what to do again and I don't know how to tell my mum about this problems because they won't take it lightly with him. I need your advice ma. Am really dying slowly and having sleepless nights. Thanks a lot

In your best interest I will suggest that you put the church wedding on hold and report your experience to your family. Life is priceless and any union that threatens your life and the peace of mind is not worth anything that you invest in it.
Scales is not falling off from his eyes but you are now embracing the reality of his personality and his perception of who you are to him.
For him to beat you continuously and his family didn't do anything about it and for him to drink and come back when he feels like is an indication that he doesn't respect your personality and your emotions.
Whether he was so nice and loving yesterday is not what is the most important now, but addressing this issue of his constant threat to your life is something that you must handle seriously to avoid bringing children into the world and raise them all alone.
Whether his family likes you or not, if both of are to continue with the marriage, he must rent an apartment so that you can have your own privacy. There is nothing more dangerous than getting married to an immature partner, so don't take this grave signs lightly to avoid losing your life in the name of marriage.


  1. Even if you put the wedding on hold till 2020 a wife beater and a drunk will always remain a wife beater and a drunk...
    No matter the amount of reports you make, it will only end in apologies and fake promises...Nothing more
    It's very easy to say "I promise"..
    My dear...this might not sound easy..
    It's a difficult decision but it's worth it...
    I'll rather run through fire to save my life than die in a comfortable room..
    If you can ...take a bow...
    Or if you feel you can cope with the beating and ill manners...Goodluck to you...

  2. The only marriage that says 4 better 4 worse is church marriage, even at that, not at the expense of ur life. So dear sis Kelee Jehova and pack ur bags before you are saddled with children that have to be considered before such decisions


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