Saturday, April 16, 2016

How Do I Keep my Home?

Thank you for the good work. You have really helped me. Please ma, I don't know if my wife loves me and if she will leave me. We are married for five years now. I have been out of job for sometime now. Her father can assist me in getting a job but he won't for reasons I don't know. I asked my wife to speak with him but she refused.
I went to her father myself, he just took my CV but instead of assisting me, he gave my wife who is already working the new job. The problem now is that my wife is mocking me calling me a poor man. I am not lazy, I even picked up a teaching job to keep the home(we have three boys). She prefers to buy cloths than assisting me in the home. Please what do I do? I don't want my kids to experience step mother of father. How do I keep my wife and my home?

You already sound like a defeated man who has lost hope in himself, faith in his wife and joy in his family. Granted that things may not be as lovely as you planned them but I wouldn't encourage you to give up and feel that your challenges will consume you. Take it as one of the phases of life and your journey as a man, be brave and encourage yourself with God's word. Assure yourself that this phase of your life will someday become history, pay no attention to anyone who makes mockery your circumstances or make you feel inadequate, do not accept the negative thoughts in your heart but decide in your heart never to give up until you can give your best to your family. 
Do not forget that you are under God's covenant of divine favour and grace by the virtue of your vows to your wife, so do not entertain the thought of having a step mother or leaving your wife, but be patient with her, pray for her and pray more importantly that God will bless the work of your hand. 
Teaching can give you more income if you give your heart to it,  and also go for an extra mural classes. It will also give you the ample opportunity to spend more time with your children and also coach them in all their endeavours. 
I would particularly encourage you to sit down with your wife and have a heart to heart discussion with her, let her know that marriage is not a competition where she can tell you anything and spend her money as she pleases. Let her know how much you need her encouraging words and support so that you don't fall off in your sacrifices to make ends meet. 
I would also encourage you to tell your wife to write to me here if she's comfortable with the idea so that I can have a word or two with her and understand why she's not supporting you.

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