Saturday, July 16, 2016

Ways to Build your Home as a Wise Woman.

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.' 
-Proverbs 14:1 NLT

God in his infinite wisdom created a woman to play a vital, significant, and extremely important role in the life of her husband, her home, her children, and the society at large. 
Some wives, with their two hands, destroy their marriages and homes only to run to pastors and priests for endless vigils and prayers. When they go to a counselor, they don't see themselves; they don't want to be told what they've done wrong, they just want to blame their husbands for everything.

For some of these ungodly women, there is no moment of peace in the home. In fact, there are women who naturally love commotion and so all the husband gets are insults and provocative utterances. These women don't believe they have to feed, nurture, and groom their man. 

Some have devised ways of manipulating their husbands with sex; yes, I have seen and heard women tell others to demand money before sex. And I always ask; in your own home? You are nothing but a prostitute in your home, yes, a married prostitute. A male fan once called me telling me how he's found himself with another woman. This man's wife denied him sex for three months insisting he buy a brand new SUV when the last one he bought was just two years old. This is the problem with women who keep a lot of friends with no vision, all they do is compete for material things. Well, she got what she deserved as the man found himself in the arms of another. If you are a woman like this, you are a manipulator, a thief, and a prostitute.

Some have invited strange friends and relatives and have allowed them to run their marriages and destroy their own homes. Who told you that your mother who ruled your father's house has to come and rules your own husband's house? Who told you that your sisters have to leave their husbands' houses to come run yours? Who told you that your ungodly friends have right over your marriage, telling you the way you treat your husband and domestic staff? Yes, who told you that your pastor has the right to eat what your husband does not eat from you? You won't cook well for your husband, in fact, your maid does his cooking and laundry, but you dedicate time to cook for your pastor and even do his laundry. You are shameless! You are destroying your own home.

To start with, it is extremely wicked and selfish for you to starve your husband of sexual intimacy in your marriage. I know that there are women who have challenges with enjoying sexual intimacy with their husbands. I am aware that some women went through the barbaric and devilish genital mutilation , some had traumatic past, one form of sexual disorders or the other, you have to find a way around this and a good husband will be there for his wife all the way. Singles, discuss these issues before marriage. Dating and courtship is not for free sex, it's a time to know and understand each other. 

Your body does not belong to you the very moment you accept him as your husband. His body ceases to be his alone the very moment he marries you. So even if there are challenges and difficulties, I feel that it's better for both of you to work it out, address the issues, and enjoy sex with him instead of starving him of sex for months. Husband, you must make sure your wife is emotionally okay for sex. You can't bash her and treat her like a nobody; you can't show her that she is not a part if you and then turn around to expect that hot sex from her. Even if she decides to give her body to you, her mind and soul will be far from you. But ladies, don't push your husband to the wall and at the same time complain that he's cheating on you. 
You have a role to play in strengthening your marriage and protecting your husband.

If as a wife you are in the habit of using one form of church programme or the other to deprive your husband of sex, hell is waiting for you. Do all your church vigils while single and face your marriage now that you are married. You are a church worker; and so what? Don't abandon your husband at night, some attend vigils every other night, married woman? Some use headache to avoid sex, this is wrong, but husbands, help your wives to be honest with you. If she knows that you truly care for her, she would be emotionally open.

Ladies, the reason why many homes have failed is because some foolish women go about getting all manner of advise and suggestions from strange individuals and then apply them on their marriage. You and your husband are one and both of you have all you need to make your marriage work. Cut off all these unhealthy friends of yours and focus on your marriage. If you are in need of counseling, please seek counseling with a professional but don't go about trying to win sympathy and opinions from the wrong quarters, it won't help you at all, it wont change a thing. 

You are married, please quit comparing your marriage with other people's marriage. No two marriage are the same and no marriage is without issues and challenges. 
Stop comparing your husband's penis size and performance with that of your ex. Stop expecting what your husband cannot afford and stop pushing your husband to steal simply because you feel that you must belong. 
A good marriage is not a function of your possession but a function of your contentment and your ability to manage what you have at your disposal and make the best out of it. 

Marriage is not for those who desire to be radical feminists. Feminism and marriage is not on the same platform so if you really want to succeed and prosper in your marriage, you must as a matter of necessity learn to submit to your husband's authority. Femininity works better in marriages. Don't get me wrong, you are a woman and must be treated with respect, your husband should consult you before taking decisions, but you have to let him take the final decision.

Where both of you cannot agree and where the sanctity of your marriage is threatened, you have the right to take a walk and move on with your life if you feel that you cannot continue with him. But as long as you are under one roof, you must learn to work with him, respect him as well as he respects you, and allow him be the leader in your marriage. That is how a wise woman builds her home. 

Above all, desire to please God in your marriage and in all your endeavors, you must open your heart and give your all to make your marriage succeed. Loving God and serving Him is the number one key to your success in marriage. When you are in love with God, He makes it easy for you to love your husband.

I love you sincerely and that is why I cannot afford not to tell you this truth.

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