Sunday, July 17, 2016

What Becomes the Fate of my Academics and Pregnancy?

Don't know how to start my story, weather to start with how I suffered to get admission into university or how I involved in a relationship for more than six years that was ended because I got pregnant for my school boyfriend or to tell of my life in school. Nevertheless, am a lady in her late 20s, a sickle cell disease(SCD) patient. Am in 300l in one of universities in Nigeria. I got pregnant for my school boyfriend who promised to marry me but am scared of his life and attitude.
This guy is my next door neighbor in hostel, always in my room. When being told to go to his room he will give excuses, at times I will lock him in and go to read. He is in his final year in school although I do not know his age cause he never stick to one age.
Actually he is a good guy and a friend but I never had feelings for him, he will always tell me that he will marry me and that his pastor told him about me but had never took him serious. Though we are always seen, eat and do things together so we were called husband and wife. He helps me do things like fatch water, iron my clothes, many at times cook for me with his money and always buy things for me.
My problem with him is that he lies a lot, he is always never serious, and nothing affects him much, even when he is abused. When provoked, his anger never last. In school he will never allow me to be intimidated and is very hard for me to be with my friends unless he is there. I have done many wrong to him which was triggered by his attitude but he keeps coming to me.
An incident happened that I slapped him and he slapped me back and injured me that I have to report him to the police station. When I refused him, he will physically abuse me.
Now am pregnant for him after much said and done he accepted responsibility and had also come with his relatives but not his immediate family. Reason being that his father recently passed on and his mother is not emotionally stable and that if the family should know now, that it will affect his project in school since he is in final year.
My family knowing my health, and recently condition, has also been there for me except my dad who has hands off on his financial support in my education and otherwise. Pressures is now for me to withdraw from school after many years of seeking admission into university which is my last option.
Pls ma, am very much confused in life, don't know where to seek advice on.
Though I told my people not to accept the proposal until I give birth to enable me decide if I would settle down with him or not. Since then, he usually visit and call but not as he used to when I was not pregnant. When asked, his reason will be that he is engaged with his project
Ma, life has been so difficult for me that if not God and my mum's prayer and my loved once, I would have been forgotten by now. A times I will start shedding tears in public. Having many fear in mind of what is going to happen to me and my baby? If I decide not to marry him, how are we going to cope? And if I marry him, is he going to be a good father to my child and a good husband to me? Not having answers to this questions has made me realised that I have made a very big mistake in life and I regret. Please I need advice cause I believe God will speak to me through you.

Even in our mistakes and limitations, God is still merciful and can use our mistakes to transform our lives and prepare us for his ministry. And no matter how terrible our errors maybe, it's not overwhelming for God to intervene and restore you to his purpose for your life.
It is difficult and challenging but one thing I am sure of is that your seed is not a curse to your life but a blessing to you.
Settle it in your heart and accept your pregnancy as part of your journey to self discovery and fulfilment of your purpose in life.
I will suggest that you and your mother plead for your dad to forgive you and support you in your academics. You may also consider talking to your pastor (preferably an elderly one), or your relative who your father listens to and respect to plead on your behalf knowing the precarious state of your health and your academics.
While you do that, you can also visit the guidance and counselling department of your school or your bursary department to enquire if there's any way you can waive your school fees and pay them after graduation so that you can continue with your studies while you take care of your pregnancy.
Sex is sweet to boys but pregnancy is a nightmare for them. The reason is because they're not mentally and psychologically stable to take the responsibility of their decision, which is why it is safer to stay away from sex than to deposit his sperm and expect a laptop battery.
So his attitude towards you may not be as it was in the beginning but with time he will adjust to the realities of his romance.
I am glad that you are considering marriage yet because you need to look beyond your pregnancy and evaluate his personality before you consider getting married to him.
In addition to that, you also need to know his blood genotype to avoid giving birth to a sickle-cell patient.
Do not allow the thoughts of your past mistakes to weigh you down, brace up and prepare yourself to give your baby the very best that you can provide for him.
Entrust everything to God in prayers, he'll definitely not forsake you now that you need him more.
I believe that God will use this experience to draw you closer to him and give your life a meaning. Your baby is a blessing to this world and he's not an accident or a misfit in your life.
Cheer up and be strong, you shall see the greater part of your life. Also enrol for antenatal care so that you can get professional advice from your gynaecologist that will help you take good care of your baby and your health.


  1. Pls dear,i would like to come from the medical angle,pls fast fast report urself to a good hospital with a good consultant O&G,child birth for a sickler is nothing to write home about as regards the risks and pain involved,if I may tell u,ur health is at risk now that why u need to draw closer to u r doctor.pls sweetheart. The crises u use to have is nothing compared to the risk ahead pls

  2. Sorry,dear. It has already happened. So,let's figure out how to make the best of the situation. God is for you,and He loves you inspite of what has happened - it did not take Him by surprise. LET HIM HELP YOU.
    *This is what you will do: Go and get everything you can from JOSEPH PRINCE - books,audios,devotionals,etc. and devour them. They will help you protect you against slipping into depression,as well as know the right thing to do,and even get you healed of your sickness. JUST....LET GOD HELP YOU. HE IS YOUR FUTURE! Years from now,you are going to look back nd thank God for AVL.

    **For free books,and audios,etc. on Whatsapp,whatsapp your details in the format: *Quick Downloads 101*Names*City*Country to *234-7062456233 #qdDOWNLOADS

  3. I'm quite happy you realize you made a gigantic mistake. It's quite unfortunate you're learning first-hand and in the hard way, I'd thought that seeking for admission for many years should have taught you to be focused when you get to school and you should have been hearing of things like this happening even before you got admission, so it's quite bad you're in this situation.

    I just pray and hope he becomes a man you'll love in the future and a changed man for that matter. I also hope he will still keep in touch when he graduates because I don't want to assume he still comes around once in while because he has no choice due to the fact that he is your next door neighbor.

    Whatever be the case, just be strong, focus on your studies and most importantly, don't forget your health condition, so you need to think twice before you take some decisions.


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