Sunday, July 17, 2016

How Do I Stop Him from Sleeping in the Office?

Good evening Aunty Amara. Thanks for the wonderful advice you give to people here, more grace to you ma. I need your advice on this issue.
Am a lady of 24, married to a guy of 30 traditionally in March this year, planning for our church wedding in three months time. I love my husband and he loves me too. I trust him so much because he had never done anything to doubt his fidelity to me from the first day we met.
The challenge am having now is my husband works as a hotel manager. When we were courting, he usually sleep at the office and comes home weekends. I do ask him if when I finally relocate to stay with him, because I was schooling in the east, and he said he will be coming home everyday.
Finally am with him now, he has started sleeping in the office again, although I know my hubby is well disciplined and I don't have any negative thoughts of him sleeping with women whenever he doesn't sleep at home because I trust him. He started sleeping every Friday, then twice in a week, now is thrice.
Each time I complain this to him, what he tells me is that, didn't I know the nature of his job before I married him and I always tell him that he shouldn't start sleeping in the office when he resumes work in his new office because he got another job. I told him that when he starts sleeping there, the owner of the hotel will expect him to be doing that always because he is married now but my hubby will just tell me, do I want to go hungry?
Yes I appreciate his hardworks because he provides everything I need but the issue of leaving me in the night bothers me a lot. I want to minimize it now that is early before it gets out of hand. We stay with two of his sibling but seriously they are not what I want. Aunty please what do I do to stop it?
At least once a week is okay. I forgot to state that he even go to work sometimes on Sundays in the evening

With my little understanding of hotel businesses, managers have an oversight function of knowing what goes on in the hotel, the rooms that were occupied, the provision of the basic amenities like the light, water and entertainment, and supervision of all the sales in the hotel.
It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't sleep but depending on the capacity of the hotel and his relationship between the owner, hotel managers have little or no freedom except they're on off duty.
The nature of his job may not allow him to always come back as early as possible or come back at all, in that case you can maximise the opportunity that you have. You may suggest to work with him or perhaps go with him just to have an experience of how his work schedule is like. I want to believe that he wouldn't feel that you are suspecting him. The essence is to support him in your own little way, experience what it's like to work on night duty and also utilise the opportunity and maybe steal some intimate moment with him.
If he doesn't feel that it's cool for both of you, then you may drop the idea and simply pray that God will give him a better job outside the banking sector. I'm certain that you know the economic downturn in Nigeria and you don't wish to act as though you don't understand what's going on in the economy, especially now that both of you are planning for your wedding.
It may be difficult for you to bear but knowing that he's only working hard to make ends meet and to also provide your basic needs should be a source of encouragement as you wait for him.
I am hopeful that his new job will give him some time to be with you so that you won't lie on the bed alone when you can lie on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.


  1. Aunty Amara! I so much love d way u counsel. Today, I love the last line of ur advice "lie on his chest and listen to his heartbeat"
    So much luv to give. Kudos.

  2. A hotel manager hardly gets time for himself. Just hope his new place of appointment will give him the chance to be with you more.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)