Wednesday, September 14, 2016

My Heart Aches Everyday.

Good morning Aunty Amara. Thanks for the good work you have been doing. Please I need your advice once more. I wrote to you last time concerning checking my fiancé's Facebook account. And I did exactly what you asked me to do. I apologized to him but it took him almost one week to accept my apology.
The problem now is that since then he has changed totally. He hasn't talked about our preparation for marriage
anymore. He keeps to him self. He shouts at almost everything I do, even when I did nothing wrong. And from my investigation, I have found out that he sleeps with so many girls outside.
Last week he told me he was going to work, only for me to call him around 7pm and noticed that he was with a girl from the tone he used in answering my call. I think he is using his work to flirt with girls. Based on the nature of his job, sometimes he stays at work place for some days or weeks depending on how long the job will last. I also found out that there is a lady connecting him to a job. So I think is because of that particular girl that he has changed towards me. Currently he goes out every night to make calls outside.
Aunty my heart aches every day, tears has become my daily food. I have explained everything to my elder sister who gave us loan and she advised me to leave and forget about the money for him. But my heart bleeds. I feel I have been used and dumped. I feel I can't start all over again considering my age (I will be 32 by February next year). I feel I have wasted a whole three years. Too many things on my mind. I feel I have invested so much on this relationship both financially and otherwise. I have tried making peace with him but he is a kind of person who doesn't talk things over. He prefers keeping malice to talking things over. Since he returned from his travel he hasn't talked to me.
Aunty please what should I do? Should I tell him I want to leave or I should just park my things and leave his house?

However you wish to leave him is not the most important thing to worry about, what matters most is that you are no longer comfortable with his personality, and that he doesn't possess the attributes that you desire in your husband. 
The signs are obviously clear for all to see, and just like your sister suggested, please move on with your life. 
If you count all you did for a partner, you may end up making a wrong decision, and you will never realise your age if you are in an unhealthy relationship or marriage. 
There is no age that is a taboo for a lady leave an abusive relationship, and for the fact that you're advanced in age doesn't mean that you cannot get married to a better man who will love and cherish you for who you are and not make your heart bleed with pains and emotional torture.


  1. I am currently going through the same thing. My fiancé's lies, he is cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. the worst part of it all is that we are planing to get married in 12/2016.
    Just yesterday I was in his house for the sallah holiday, my fiancé's left me on the bed by 1:42am to go and see his ex-girlfriend outside. I caught them together. he didn't return to the house untill 4;20am this morning without any remorse. This is someone I have invested time and everything to the relationship. Personally I have decided to move on with my life. I know it's better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage. So my sister, please move on with your life. God is working everything out for your good. be strong

  2. If God can reveal tomorrow to sum of us then we'll worry less.Please don't stay beyond 24hours in that house better doors have opened already.Move on Sweetie.


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