Thursday, May 28, 2015

Conversation on a First Date

Have you always wondered why those girls excitedly give a nod for a first date only to start giving flimsy excuses on your next request for a date? You know you are a very cool guy; have the money to take care of her needs; took out time to dress well to suit the date, but at the end of it all, you get a 'no' for an answer. You are not alone. A good number of men go through this same problem. I want to give you some tips on how to start a conversation, keep it flowing, and end it with your ego still intact.

Before I go on, I must let you know this; Women remain the same all over the world. Don’t be scared of her position. When it comes to dating and relationship,we all are babies at heart. Don’t mess things up for yourself because you are too tensed about starting a conversation with her. And boy, don’t wait until she starts,you are the man; take the lead. You must appear intelligent and smart to gain the type of lady you want. It may not be your social status that is keeping them away; it could be your level of intelligence.

It's just a date
Have it at the back of your mind that
not all first dates lead to the second. Do all you can to enjoy yourself on your first date. Even if a second date never happens, let it be no fault of yours. Try to have first dates regularly to help you make the necessary changes and learn to be relaxed during dates. 

There is no big deal in having a date. So many men become jittery and unrelaxed on first dates. They become houseboys instantly, doing things they are not comfortable with just to please a girl. You do all those things because you don’t understand dating. A good number of Africans see dating as what it is not.

Guys, a date is not for sex. Dating must not be for a relationship. When you agree to go out on a date with a girl, it should be to strike a particular level of familiarity with her. Later on, move on to the level of friendship before finally, intimacy (if both of you want it). You can just decide to have a date with a girl you admire so much. Feel free, and avoid being too personal with her.

Deal with fear
Fear is generally an indication of lack of preparedness. If you are not the social type, think of five questions that can kick start a conversation, memorize and use them to get her attention. Make sure you have watched her for sometime to know what tickles her fancy. Relax like you have known her for a very long time. These will help you to be calculative and in control during conversation.

Choose the right questions
Every girl wants to feel important. Kick start a conversation by asking questions that are all about her. The following are suitable in starting a dating conversation:
What are you most passionate about? Why?
What do you enjoy most in your spare time?
Do you enjoy movies? What kind?
Some ladies enjoy football; Do you?
What about politics; do you support any party? Don't try to convince her to support your party, she could be an extremist.

Now you have chosen and memorized your questions. What are the things you need to do to keep the conversation flowing?
Look for intimacy rather than information with your questions
Keep the conversation light to enable her open up rather than feel interrogated
Get her to talk about things that excite her and please maintain eye contact while she talks.
Keep in mind that you are in the conversation to get the option of a date. Make sure that all the questions you ask lead in the general direction of seduction.
Aim to leave the person feeling a little bit better about her.
Don’t forget your sense of humour .
Give compliments at intervals.

In engaging a girl in a conversation, there are things and areas you should do everything to avoid:

Your ex/her ex 
No matter how much you are tempted to, never talk about your ex before her. It only says one of these three things:
He is holding on to his past and will go back to her if the opportunity comes.
He is trying to point out my flaws.
This is still how he will talk about me when and if eventually it ends. A good number of guys are good in this and ladies, if he talks to you about his ex, he will certainly talk to another girl and guy about you.
Some smart girls will even ask about them just to hear you talk. The best answer to this kind of questions is; ‘Let’s leave that topic for another day’. This shows respect for her; it also makes her feel you really cherish and respect women.

The future
Avoid any conversation that hints on the future. Don’t talk about future dates. Even though this has worked for some very smart guys, it scares the hell out of some women. Many have been disappointed over and over by guys who made them believe, right from the first date. This alone can make her to avoid you after that first date.

Your social status
had and still have guys come to ask me out; just like every other girl. I keep wondering what is wrong with some Nigerian men. A guy went to the point of coming with his bank statements and property details, just to lure me into saying yes to him. What a foolish thing to do. It is only a woman who has lost her pride that can get attracted to your wealth. If that girl should decide to say yes to you, what will you always conclude made her say yes; your wealth?
Guys, stop flaunting your wealth before girls. Love isn’t about material possessions. I admire men who don’t disclose their social status to a girl until they really get close.
Save her that information on how much you spent to get that pair of footwear. She doesn't need you to tell her that you are wearing a designer shirt; she will find that out herself if things work out. 

Negative comments about other guys
It is only a man with low self-esteem who spends his time discussing people. You do all those things because you lack confidence.You do those things because you don’t want the girl to get attracted to him. Focus on your date.

One of the primary aims of a first date is to let the girl enjoy herself and have fun with you. If you can do this, and you like to have a second date with her, she will say yes. C’mon guys, go enjoy your date and remember, if you want fun, you must be fun.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)