Friday, September 11, 2015

His Father Suspended The Introduction, Please Help!

Greetings Mrs Van Lare....I really commend your good works to humanity. Please I really need your advice. 
A lot of people especially ladies complain of their mother-in-law but ironically my problem right now is my father in law (maybe I should use the word prospective father in law cos marriage plans are yet to be concluded). 
He doesn't seem to see eye to eye with his son,my fiancé and unfortunately I'm at the receiving end of their unending squabbles. 
My fiance is presently outside the country studying and working at the same time while plans were being made for his people to come for an introduction so that I could go and join him as his wife. 
Suddenly his father came up with an injunction that the introduction should be suspended cos he wanted me and him to know each other better. 
In fact the old man condescendingly suggested that I go to meet with his son abroad without any formal ceremony, which of course my parents will never hear of! 
This sparked off serious arguments between the man and his son,and right now they're not in talking terms. 
I keep wondering what I have done to offend this elderly man and why he's being so unnecessarily difficult. 
My fiancé and I are in our early 30s and very much in love. 
His mom is late. Please help!

Challenging moments calls for earnest prayers and supplications. This is not your father in law being against you but that of the devil devising a means to destroy that which God has ordained. 
You don't need to panic or see his dad as the devil, all you need to do is join hands with your fiancé to call upon the gates of heaven for God's intervention while you fashion out means to convince him to go for the introduction. 
You may need to encourage your fiancé to contact one or two of his uncles or elders in his kindred to help encourage his dad to go for the introduction. 
A man cannot make a forest irrespective of what their relationship may have been in the past. 
If consulting with his uncles doesn't yield much benefits, he may explore the area of getting his father's pastor or priest to wade into the matter because his presence is greatly needed for the introduction to be a success. 
If all these efforts fails which I sincerely doubt, then he will need to come back home and discuss extensively with his father and fashion out ways to get the introduction done with his father's blessings. 
Encourage him not to shout or be hard on his father even though he may have justifiable reasons to do so, let him be patient and prayerful with him and thread this path with great caution and wisdom. 
Nothing shall separate you and your fiance from coming together as long as you are willing to support him in times like this and pray with him for God's intervention. 
What you are currently experiencing didn't begin today and my prayers for you is that this too shall pass and you shall be with your husband at the end of the day. 
Cheer up and be hopeful, be encouraged by God's promises, be hopeful that God will perfect all that concerns you and please continue to encourage your fiancée with words of wisdom and promises of God.
I pray that God will simply make a way for you and your fiancée in Jesus name Amen. 


  1. You are so eager to join him as a WIFE after just the INTRODUCTION?? Maybe i don't understand the new meaning of introduction but from the old meaning which i know, it's not enough for a woman to join a man abroad as his wife..
    There is nothing malicious in the reasons your father inlaw gave though the time for the introduction should rightly and ideally depend on the agreement you reach with your fiance and not his father..Be patient and do not start building up the grudge that he hates you at this early stage...what will be will be

  2. @Joseph: Gbam! I ji okwu!

    @Poster: Dear,the Elder is right except for the travelling part. You didn't give much details about how long you have known this guy,and what you know about him - character,personality,purpose,passion,interest,values,beliefs(please,ask Aunty Amara for the complete list),and most importantly,HIS CURRENT CHARACTER(this 'abroad' turns some people's brain so upside down that what you knew about them before they travelled,is now a joke. Personally,any 'abroad' guy coming to ask for my sisters' hand in marriage,in addition to other requirements,he will have to be investigated for at least 6 months,before being okayed). Loving someone is NEVER a guarantee that you will be able to live with them. We didn't design Marriage,therefore we cannot run it on our terms. If we do, it will crash. A bad marriage is NEVER an accident - AVOID IT LIKE A PLAGUE!


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