Saturday, September 12, 2015

I Want To Terminate The Relationship.

Am O***,25+,works with a clearing agency in Porthacourt.
I have been dating a guy since 2013 during our youth service days with the intention of settling down even though he loves me very much more than I do for him,but I decided to wait for him when he left since last year to Dubai for greener pastures and since then,it hasn't been easy for us.
Though we do have our differences which are always centered on jealousy,suspicions and stinginess(from the guy) but notwithstanding,I have been faithful not considering my admirers and the pressures from my parents.
He keeps assuring me everything will be fine but I just discovered the love keeps diminshing every passing day.
We had an issue last two weeks and I plainly told him its over and I can't keep waiting for him considering the fact that my love for him is shaky now,he begged but I refused.
He involved his mum who called me and I had no option than to tell her my anger and all that,she was the one that told me a lot about my guy that I don't even know,that it hasn't been easy for him over there that he is striving for survival and that hopefully he may be back by December to start up a new business here in Nigeria and all that.
Aunty Amy,am truly tired of this all and I really want to end it to have my peace and probably start up a new relationship because I don't feel love but pity for him. Please advise me. 

What you are experiencing in your relationship are the characteristics and challenges of long distance relationship. 
From your mail I observed that this relationship was defined and he was honest with you about his vision and plans for his life and the relationship. 
You also stated that he loved you and by the way he involved his own mother to prevail on you for me shows that he truly loves you and haven't forgotten his plans for you. 
I wouldn't encourage you to give up too soon but I would rather suggest that you wait for him to return so that you can see him face to face and discuss about the future of the relationship with him. 
Sometimes a man may not wish to tell you all that he's going through not because he doesn't love or respect you but because he wouldn't want to infuse fears and worries should you know what he's experiencing. 
While you may feel that your sacrifices and patience wasn't worth it, venturing into another relationship doesn't guarantee that you will be happy and fulfilled. 
Please do hold on for some time and encourage him in his striving to build a brighter and better future for you and your family. 
Find out when he will be returning so that you will plan your date with him and thrash out all that have been bothering you ever since he left for Dubai. 
Please do not in a bid to dump him for one of your numerous admirers end up with more scars than fulfilling smile on your face.
Sometimes what we desire may not really be what we need but the decision is solely yours to make. 
If you feel that he's not worth your love, affection and appreciation, when he returns, let him know your thoughts and decision and go for what makes you happy and fulfilled. 


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  2. From your story, i could deduce that you heart has found love with someone you feel suits you better than your guy...
    The things you complained about happen in every relationship....The disagreements, the misunderstandings and the arguments must come up at some point and you rightly said that both of you settle your i wonder what you're leaving him for..
    You complained about his stinginess and I'm happy you now know why he doesn't give....It's simply because he doesn't have....he is struggling for survival just like his mother told you...
    Your problem with him is now clear...he doesn't have money and you can't date a broke's simple... He has pleaded with you to hold on...His mother had pleaded with you also but your heart is set towards the money...its alright.
    I wouldn't compell you to stick with him out if pity like you rightly said....move on but remember that the pasture always looks greener from afar...I hope you find what you're searching for..
    I hope you don't regret you action when his fortune turns around for wise.

  3. During our breakup conversation, he told me he hasn’t been happy for a while. No time frame was mentioned. Yet when we were together, he never once acted like there was anything wrong. We would laugh and joke just like before. He told be he’s tired of being lonely (I guess referring to us not living together). That made me feel so hurt for him because I NEVER wanted him to feel like that. I very loved him. I need get him back and my last chance was love spell . Entered on the website , because I read that he has a lot of positive feedback. I’m not disappoint. My lover back to me in only one month. We are happy couple now.

  4. If u can't endure it when the going was tough then u arnt ready to be a wife


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