Wednesday, November 18, 2015

How do I Love Myself?

Auntie Amara please I need you to counsel me because my heart is broken!
I'm 23years old and all my life I've never been truly in love, not because am a lesbian, but because I don't know how to make myself feel loved.
There's this guy in my church I've known all the while, we share ideas in company of people and laugh together sometimes but it has never occurred to me that I will fall so much in love with a man to the extent of crying because of him! I told him through chat that I like him a lot and he told me he feels same, and ever since he said that, he started acting like a true lover ; getting kinda jealous when I'm talking with others guys and other obvious signs.
My usually lively self changed last night when he told me to visit him in the house so he could show me he knows how to cook well and I consented. And then he asked me a question ; "what if my woman comes to my house and sees you? " I was completely broken at the question and I told him to leave and then I shed tears.
A friend of mine suggested I ask him again to ascertain his seriousness about what he said. I asked him today if he has something serious with someone else and he said Yes, I asked him if he intended to marry her and he said "By God's Grace ".
Auntie, please tell me what I need to do, I can't believe this is happening to me now, I'm so crushed! I love him so so, I don't know whether to give up on him even though I know it would be almost impossible.
I'm a very beautiful lady by all standards but I don't seem to understand my love life....
Please help me like you would do to a younger sister, I need to get through this cos I don't want to end up belittling myself over a man.
Thanks and may God lift you

Beautiful, everything in life revolves from the inside out. From conception to the manifestation of your abilities, it's always a reflection of what has been buried within. 
It begins with a little compliment and self appreciation of who you are in Christ Jesus, in your abilities and in your passion in life and destiny. 
It begins with being grateful for life and who you are, appreciating your identity and your purpose in life. 
It begins with accepting yourself in the midst of the crowd and expressing yourself without any regrets or apologies. 
It begins with being honest with what you can do and being humble enough to learn from others. 
It begins with accepting the views of others without subjecting them to yourself as God's promises for your life or feeling inferior because someone somewhere feels that you don't have the qualities that he or she desires in you. 
It's being able to feel hurt but never defeated even if the whole world is against you. 
It begins with feeding your inner spirit with the engrafted word of God and allowing them to bear forth fruit in your life. 
You may wonder why I am listing all these, it's because loving yourself is one of the greatest treasure of your lifetime. 
Nobody else can love you more than you love yourself and appreciate yourself no matter who the person may be or what the person may say. 
This is what builds your self esteem and gives you the confidence to meet your husband. 
This is what will keep you going when someone makes you feel less of what God has ordained for your life. 
I'm so happy that you didn't just stop at expressing your feelings for him but you sought to know his status and I don't think that you should feel bad about it because fair enough, he didn't keep you on the waiting list while he was with the other lady though he could have done better than giving you a lead. 
If God has made him for another lady, I am convinced that God made another man who will not see you shed any tears or allow you be in pains. 
Loving is a journey and sometimes it comes with some unexpected challenges to strengthen your heart and prepare you for marriage. 
What you are experiencing isn't belittling yourself, it's only accepting the fact that you love him so much that you want to help him remain focused on his own relationship while trusting God for your own. 
You shed tears because you truly desire him in your life but never knew that he wasn't available and you would not reduce yourself to fight over a man who is emotionally attached to another lady. 
It can be painful but eternally rewarding because God honours those who are faithful and those who look unto him for their own perfection in marriage. 
Cheer up sweetheart and look up to Jesus who doesn't fail any who put their trust in him. 
I am proud of you my dear and I know that God will not disappoint you. 
He will wipe away your tears and give you a man who will make you complete in every sense of the word. 


  1. Amara, may God bless and continue to replenish your wisdom, you've really encouraged and given the best advice possible. God bless you dear.

  2. Sometimes,the greatest proof of love,is to LET GO. Let go? Yes,let go. Dear,mostimes, all those things you are experiencing are mere chemicals in your bloodstream. Give yourself some time,and they will clear up,and you will even be amused at yourself why you even cried and all. Listen to Aunty Amara,as as you discover yourself,you will be shocked at your maturity,and will attract the right people into your life. To quicken the process,get the following:
    1. Waiting And Dating, by Myles Munroe
    2. Understanding; Releasing and Maximizing Your Potential(3-book series), by Myles Munroe
    3. Women's Grooming, by Amara Van-Lare
    4. Maximizing Your Youthful Season, by David C. Onuoha
    5. Be Different, by David C. Onuoha
    6. Hi,Can We Be Friends?, by Tekena Ikoko
    7. Teachings by JOSEPH PRINCE.

    These are some of the tools you need now. Get them,and soar. Thank me later! ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101


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