Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Will Being a Divorcee Ruin the Relationship?

Good morning ma and God bless you for your words of encouragement and advice, it has gone a long way to help.
Please ma, am divorced because of domestic violence, I almost died in the hands of my ex, cos of his emotional and physical abuse. No child was involved in the marriage.
I have been seen this guy for nine months now, he knows everything about my past, I never hid anything from him. He practically told me, that he doesn't see me as someone who is married, that he only sees me as someone who was in a failed relationship.
Now he opens up to me very well, he gave me access to his house, I have the keys to his place and I have access whenever I want to . I talk to his siblings very well and his parents are very much aware of me. You know he has been hurt in his past relationship, so have I, we got talking one day and he told me he trust me more than he loves me.
But because of my past experience am filled with so much fear and most times it affects my mood.
Ma I feel being a divorcee will ruin this my relationship, cos I love him and he hasn't told his parents, even the siblings about my past. He said he doesn't believe I have been married, and so his not telling anyone that cos to him I was never married.
What will I do if they later find out? And for him to say he trust me more than he loves me, what does that imply?
Thank you.

Why will your being a divorcee ruin your relationship and happiness as a lady? 
Or would you have preferred to be dead instead? (God forbid!). 
I think that you are worried about the opinions and the perceptions of men instead of focusing on appreciating another privilege you have to experience true love and fulfilment in marriage and in life, you are busy thinking about why the world should accept you or why they should not judge you. 
One thing you must have at the back of your mind is that you are on a journey with your maker and you do not owe any man any explanations for the experiences, challenges, and the unpleasant moments that has made you the kind of woman you are today nor does anyone has the capacity to stop you from believing in yourself and going for what will make you happy. 
Divorce is in fact Biblical and a divorcee has the legal right to remarry or decide to remain single should she choose to. 
I feel that you need to accept yourself and thank God for where he has brought you through while trusting him to lead you to his purpose and promises for your life and destiny. 
God can still use that which the world rejected and transform it into a precious and priceless treasure. In any of your journey in life, never limit God by your thoughts and fears. 
Instead of being afraid, I will suggest that you commit everything to God in prayers and seek to hear from him concerning the relationship. 
You must have known the attributes of an abusive partner the difference between the promises of a partner and his personality. 
This is time for you to grow in friendship with your partner and find out why he chose you when he could have easily gone for others. 
When a man finds a heart he can trust, he can commit his all to see her happy and will be willing to give his all in her care. 
It's a rare virtue for men because they most times find it difficult to give their heart to a lady but easy to give their body.
So if you are convinced that this man genuinely love you, please allow him to be the man and kindly allow him to introduce you to his family in the way he best desires to. 


  1. On this issue of a divorcee getting married again, There's nothing to debate on this matter..
    Madam Amara keeps saying a divorcee has the legal right to remarry...well, i wouldn't say she's wrong...Maybe the National marriage rights law says that...
    Biblically...it is wrong for a divorcee to remarry...however, God has given man the freedom to choose which law to uphold..But it's always the best to obey the laws of God..They might seem impossible simply because of our desire to always want to do things our way...The word of God standeth sure...No twisting...we are inexcusable...
    Dear poster...
    There is no assurance that your fears won't hunt you in future...It's just a probability..
    You need to hope and pray for the best so that your fears do not manifest...
    If otherwise...accept it in good faith..
    No one knows tomorrow..

  2. Please,go and listen to 'THE MYTH OF SINGLENESS' by Myles Munroe. It's free on my blog. That's what you need now. Listen to it over and over again till the fears are dealt with. In addition,go for materials by Joseph Prince - books,devotionals,videos,articles,mp3s,etc. They will quicken your healing. Please,marriage is for WHOLE,COMPLETE INDIVIDUALS. Do not proceed with your broken emotions,or you run a very high risk of re-creating your past. From what you have narrated,I just hope both,nor one of you are not on a REBOUND. I just hope. When you break a relationship,you wait to heal first before going into another one. You don't go into another relationship to seek healing. Go and get your emotions fixed first. Then,....two can play this game. I wish you the best. #qdLADIES
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  3. You divorced and you went back to your ex things did not work so you are dating to this man who you love but you are scaring to go ahead my advice is you need to pray and more fasting and God will show you by dream if he is your bone or not please pay attention don't fall third times which is going to affect your feeling for tomorrow also we don't know what kind of lady are you but we are wishing you to success this one. Good luck


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