Friday, January 1, 2016

Be Sincere :Am I Being Petty?

Good day ma. Please I just want you to be sincere to me. Do you think I am being petty?
My marriage is five years and I have two kids. I have an issue with the attitude of my in laws. They are nice to an extent but each time I buy something and send to them, they will never call to say thank you no matter what I send. They will rather call my husband.
I have bought a handbag once and taken to my mother Inlaw and in my presence she called my hubby to say thank you. I tried complaining to my hubby and he said they must not call me to thank me.
I am not happy about that. I am really angry with him cos I feel he should correct the impression. I gave him some money to send to his sister because he was broke. I actually did the transfer from my phone but not even an acknowledgment from her, rather she called my hubby to say thank you.
Am confused or maybe they feel whatever I give to them is from their brother or is it that I am not regarded.
Please be sincere to me am I petty?

This is one of the not so good aspect of African culture, every good thing comes from the man while the lady is there to benefit from their own son.
Also it is also the impression that your husband has presented to his family by his body language that his family is responding to.
If your husband appreciate your commitment and selfless gifts that you give to your in laws, even if they call him to say thank you, he would naturally say that you were the one who bought the gift and encourage them to appreciate you as well but it seems as though he's the type that loves taking all the glory so even if you kill yourself, he will let his family know that he died twice just to make them happy.
So it's not necessarily the issues of his family but that of his own personality. I had to explain so that you will understand the bedrock of your challenges.
However this doesn't mean that you should quit being nice and kind to them irrespective of their perceptions of you.
It doesn't really matter whether they acknowledged you or not, because every good thing you do for them is unto God and not for anyone or any man.
If your husband is comfortable with taking the glory, please don't fight him over that but surrender everything to God who is faithful to reward you for your selfless sacrifices.
He's not impartial nor will he forsake your labour of love in his life and your extended family.
Let it go, there's no financial reward for their acknowledgement nor should you let your husband's attitude make you develop hatred for your in laws.
Celebrate them, appreciate them, support them and always be kind to them just as you would have been if you were with your parents. God will increase your capacity to be of help and give you much more than you can possibly imagine or achieve by your efforts.
Individuals who do great exploits are always hidden while those who take the glory most times maybe doing nothing.
So please let go of your anger and frustrations, clothe yourself with humility and kindness and allow your husband to receive all the glory.

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