Monday, January 25, 2016

He Blames Me for His Downfall!

Good Morning Aunty Amara, thank you for impacting in many lives. I am an ardent follower of your page, aunty I need an advice from you and your fans. I got married three years ago, my hubby was doing fine before we got married but after some time, things started getting worse his business was going down in fact he had to sell our car and invest it on the business but still nothing was working out.
We have stopped our projects for the past three years yet we struggled to feed and do other things, but the most painful part of it was that he has been accusing me lately that I was the cause of his downfall. Aunty I have been so unhappy since I got married, it has been from one problem to another, I have prayed, fasted but still it's as if nothing is working out . I have called him severally and begged him to stop saying that but he said he will never stop till his situation changes and the worse is that he dosen't mind saying it among his friends and family members. I have been so bitter, regret ever being born, most times I feel like leaving him but because of my adorable kids I can't.
Aunty please you and Avlites should please say a word in my situation may God remember me and turn my story around for me. Thank you!

He blames you because he's weak and disorganised. He blames you because he's on the verge of giving up from his many fears and struggles and the next comfortable thing for him to do is tell everyone who cares to listen that you were responsible for his downfall. 
The funny thing about men blaming their wives for their own challenges is that it began from Adam and as such is an integral part of most men to always bring a woman down to satisfy and protect their ego. 
Ignore all he has said, he has indirectly admitted that you have the power and the grace to turn his fortunes around. He has confessed to the world that you are wise, virtuous and have the capacity to cover him up and pull him out of his shame and fears. 
I'm certain that you have never examined his opinions and attitudes from this point of view which was why you wanted to destroy your life and leave your marriage. 
Please cheer up and seek the face of God,what would God want you to do to help you support your husband and help him overcome the financial difficulties in your marriage? 
Gather all you can and need and think of a business that will help you make some savings for your family and your children. Consider vocational programmes like soap making, baking, catering, make-up artist, event planning, interior decoration amongst the rest, you may consider farming or any other thing that you don't need to compete with others but the environment have need of it. 
Do not pay attention to all he told you to pour it all to God. For every shame, mockery and blame that your husband dishes out on you, take it to God and leave it there, he's not deaf and he's not blind to your pains and challenges and will pull you out of this unpalatable moments of your marriage. 
Pray for your family and encourage yourself in God's word. Stand in the gap for him and keep this in mind that he's only responding to the pressures of his financial challenges but not that he hates you or deliberately want to hurt you. 
His grace is sufficient for you even when things are not working as you planned them, they're definitely working for your good and for the good of your family! 
Please be strong and be positive because you're not alone in this journey but with the author and the authority of your marriage and he will never allow the devil to put you to shame.

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