Monday, January 18, 2016

His Temperament is Terrible!

My husband and I are passing through financial setbacks , I try doing all within my reach to keep the family going, but he keeps calling me names. He started keeping late nights, I begged him, quarrelled with him, prayed for him but it seems its deliberate.
He comes home between 1-2am, telling me that I must stay awake to open the gate for him. He hits me at every slightest provocation, he came in last night at about 12am with fight telling me I refused to pick up my call to open the gate until he had to call a neighbour.
But before God and man, in as much as I'm against his keeping late night, I still open the gate but was deep into sleep and never heard my phone rang, he hits me again, he said his friends have good wives except me, that even if they come back late their wives don't quarrel them.
I sometimes deny him sex because of the alcohol and cigarette smell I cant withstand, he comes home and without bathing wants to have his way. I've told him if he wants me to allow him, we either go out and drink together or no show, all these to no avail. I try to endure the hardship because of our future, we both are graduates and we have kids but he hits me and his temperament is bad, what do I do.

Having financial setbacks shouldn't be the reason why you should offer your body as a living sacrifice to be panel beaten by a man who has decided to make mockery of your sacrifices and commitment to the marriage.
Your health and safety is first your priority and you need to be alive for the sake of your children. If he consistently continues to beat you, kindly return back to your parents with your children so that he can come with his family to renegotiate the terms and conditions of your marriage.
He cannot succeed in terminating or destroying your life while you permit him to do so. You have so many agencies that support women who are being abused by their husbands, if going home isn't feasible, kindly report to one of those non governmental organisations or go to the welfare department of the security agency and make a formal report on this.
While you sort that out, I would encourage you to engage your hands in a productive venture or vocational trainings that will make you self employed and provide food for you and your children.
While we hopeful that the tide of the economy will change in in distant future, we won't fold our arms and legs and watch our children die of hunger so please bend down and find out what you can do so that your children don't lack their daily bread.
As his wife, I know that you are not comfortable with his body odour and smoking habits but I want to believe that you knew of his habits before you got married to him. If that is true, I don't think that you are doing the right thing by denying him of sexual intimacy though you have a valid reason for your concerns. Maybe you should consider making love in the bathroom, thereby helping him to shower and also minimise the odour of his drinking and smoking habit.
That notwithstanding, please do not allow anyone else to terminate your life in the name of marriage because it your responsibility to protect yourself from such danger.

1 comment:

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