Sunday, January 24, 2016

She's Stubborn and Disobedient!

Good morning ma'am, I appreciate God for what he has done to a great number of fans through your inspirational texts, I celebrate you. I have a problem with my girlfriend, we love each other, we have ambitions and dreams to get married in the near future. Firstly we witnessed some changes recently, I relocated to Abuja for my post graduate program and she stays in the east and secondly we attend the same church.
Recently I changed my denomination and she said she can't have that. She objected to it vehemently but I tried explaining things to her. I told her that I need to go to a place that I feel happy about, a place I can serve God and live in his glory. My former church was a family church but I don't feel the presence of God there any longer, I don't feel that I am really worshipping God, it has become a mere ritual.
Now I can feel the joy of my salvation and I feel that God is happy with my decisions. These days she disobeys my instruction and do those acts she would not naturally do just because she felt I didn't listen to her. She sees me as being selfish and only concerned about my happiness. She said she will not go to church again since I have decided to jettison our common denomination and I should not bother asking her to go.
Last Sunday she didn't go and likewise today she insisted on not going. This is tearing us apart and I need your input. It is not only an issue about Church but her doing things the way she wants not minding whether I am hurt or not finding it comfortable to blame me if I complain. I am really worried about us. Our relationship might hit the rock soon. Thank you.

Misunderstandings and disagreements are very important elements of relationship and marriage. No matter how romantic, and beautiful a relationship maybe, there must be some form of disagreements for there to be a better perception of an individual and there must be some form of misunderstandings for partners to bond perfectly with each other. 
Granted that distance is taking its toll in your relationship, I feel that you need to give your partner some sense of belonging, the freedom to express her opinions and the friendship that your relationship needs to bosom. 
You shouldn't be instructing and commanding her as though she has no privilege to express herself even if you feel that your decisions were in her best interest. 
You should be patient with her and learn to work with her instead of working alone and dragging her into your plans. 
When you met her, you were attending the same family church and if you had reasons to change the place of worship, courtesy demands that you carry her along and help her understand your struggles and the purpose for changing your place of worship because your decision today will have an effect on her too. 
Instead of giving her instructions for her to obey, I would suggest that you give her options and suggestions for her to choose from and allow her to be herself and happy with you. Listen to her heart and find out what she's not saying or what she's missing in the relationship. Sometimes a lady maybe reacting to what she's yearning for in a negative way and you need to pay attention for you to make her feel comfortable. 
A little compliments, a little bit of listening to her, a little bit of appreciation and a little bit of some gifts to remind her of how much you cherish her will melt the wax of her worries. 
You have gone so far for you to be wishing that your relationship crushes down. Please do not let the little stress and changes in your relationship make you feel that she's not good enough for you. Pray for her and do not be so hard on your relationship and I'm hopeful that when you meet her, and discuss some of the recent changes, she will appreciate you for who you are. 

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