Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Two Men are Planning my Wedding!

Good morning aunty how are you and your family doing? Hope great, thanks for the great work you have been doing God bless you real good ma. I wrote to you concerning my relationship sometimes last year of my guy that I talked about came home last December and his dad invited me over and pleaded for me to forgive him and he also begged and was still begging but am already committed to someone else and this other guy loves me and he's ready to die if he lose me, he does everything I want.
He already introduced me to his friends and family but both my mum,my brothers want the first guy and his family want me too. His dying old man was saying he want to witness our wedding when he was dying but he later gave up the ghost and all the places we went for prayers said he's my husband although he said he has changed and said I can now pick his calls but girls are too much on him which some called me and were telling me that I can't marry him that he's a womaniser.
That because he wanted to break-up with them, am confused after all this mistreatment and lies from him but what I don't know is why all the pastors are saying the same thing but I now remember that when he invited me over then I went to obtain a marriage certificate in the church for us to stay together because his company won't allow that except he's married. I went to the church with my mum,brother and friend and the pastor read some bible verses and advised me to be submissive to him as my hubby but things didn't turn out the way we planned.
I came back and things got worse maybe that was the reason they were all seeing him as my husband, am confused and the two of them are planning my wedding and they are both aware of each other. The first said I should choose between them that he's not ready for competition that if I can forgive and take him back fine and if I can't he will understand that he's the cause and the second is pleading for me not to take his life that am his life.
Sorry ma for the long write up please I need your advice urgently. Thanks.

Well you're neither the wife of the first man nor the life of the second man. You are an individual who have your needs and vision as a lady. Irrespective of the dubious wedding certificate you and your first partner connived with your first partner to obtain, you are not married to him so I cannot call you his wife. 
Now that everyone want to marry you, please, please and please go for the partner who will make you happy and help you fulfill your purpose in life. 
Marriage is no joker, so promises cannot be trusted nor will it shield you from the pains of disappointments or emotional torture. Help yourself and please seek the face of God and not the opinions of your pastor or prophets. 
If you don't feel at peace or comfortable with your first partner, there is no need pleasing your mum dad and siblings when you know that you will never be happy with him in the end. 
Marriage is your personal journey with God so try your possible best not to play gamble with your destiny because you will be the first hit and the worst to bear the pains of your decision. 


  1. Good words well spoken by Amara...marriages are not built on promises. Marry who gives you happiness and learn to hear God yourself. God will never force a man on you. And don't marry because of family pity. Follow your heart and marry the man whom you can trust.

  2. Dear,
    What do you really want?
    Where are you headed in life?
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    Why are you on Earth?
    Why were you given life?
    Marriage is ONLY a vehicle,and your husband is your co-traveller/soldier. Where you are going to,determines who you can travel with. Your honest answers to these questions will determine who to choose,and until they are answered,please do not go into marriage yet.
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  4. I don't know why I get so much irritated whenever young promising people are talking of marriage and bring in pastors into it. I'm not saying pastors are bad but we have to know that there is a god in each and everyone of us and our god leads us perfectly, except you feel like disobeying yours. You are the one getting married and not the pastor. If there is a change in attitude of your 'pastor chosen spouse', it will only land on your head and your head alone. All you need do at this point is make up your mind on whom you can live with and try make your family see reasons with you.

    On another note, don't pick someone because they told you you're their life, pick for the love and confidence you have in that person. I wish you well.


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