Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Will God Ever Forgive Me Again?

I am a lady of 27 years old, I am not writing this not to be criticized nor for me to be pitied but I need your prayers because I have sinned against God and man. I have learnt my lessons in a very hard way.
While in school I had a boyfriend whom I took in for three times and we aborted it, so one day we had an issue, he mocked me with it, according to him, he said after aborting my children you think you will still give birth again. I cried to God for mercy because I was scared and little things like those broke me down. One day he slept with me in his brother's presence and later apologised but my heart was no longer with him but we still talked but I was now careful.
During the cause of one of our issues again out of pain and frustration I started dating another guy which the relationship lasted for two years and some months. I asked him the head way of our relationship he said so many things which he later took me to see his mother with me not knowing that I was pregnant. I told him of it and he asked me to abort the pregnancy and this guy was 37 years old.
I was shocked,I told him that I won't do it, he said if so I should know that the relationship was over that I was on my own with the baby. Ma please help me, am I taking the right decision by keeping it? I have done enough of that, that I fear for my future, if I abort this one will God ever forgive me again? Will I have my own children ever again. He promised to be there for me in future, that I should get rid of this baby that his people will say it's because am pregnant that was his reason of wishing to marry me. I will be going for service by March and I want to wear this cloth of pregnancy until I leave my parents for service because I don't want them to know.
My mother might die on the process, ma please talk sense into me, I need an urgent response, thank you. The guy is okay financially.

Please I plead with you in the name of God on behalf of your baby and God to keep your baby. The opinions and views of this man is at best stupid and senseless and I am in pains that someone could suggest that you abort the baby that he's responsible for without even considering your health and safety and the life of the innocent baby. 
I know that you are afraid that your mother may die should she know about your pregnancy but on the contrary she's a woman like you so she perfectly understand that things like this do happen and they're inevitable but losing your life may actually kill her hope in life faster than any other thing. 
Keep your baby and prepare for the safe delivery of your baby even if nobody is there to stand for you or support you. When you take the boldness and confidence to enjoy the beauty of sex, decide within your heart to protect your baby from selfish excuses because you may lose your life and womb and the privilege to experience the most unique and beautiful moments of life to nurture a new born and cuddle your own baby. 
The only advice I can give you now is to let your family know about your health and the state of your pregnancy. You can hide it from anyone else but not your family because they are simply your family and whatever happens to you will first hit them before anyone else. 
Forgive yourself, I get the mixed feelings that you experience now but you don't have to condemn yourself or blame anyone for this. Choose to be a mother and not a murderer, give your life to nurture a life and prepare your heart to take the responsibility for whatever this decision may bring to you because the other side of the coin may take your own life or deprive you of your blessings on earth. 
God loves you, and is looking forward to helping you through this turning point in your journey as a lady. 
Cheer up and let your boyfriend know that whether he want the baby or not, whether his family will judge him or mock him, whether he decides to be responsible or become a murderer, you have decided to keep your baby and damn the consequences. 
Finally, that a man is financially stable doesn't mean that he's mentally prepared to take the responsibility for his actions and decisions in life.

9 comments:

  1. Gud advice i love this write up Tanx dear u educate me too

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  2. The sad thing is, girls never learn..... Just sad....

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  3. Chai, the voice of innocent children crying out. I can't believe you are asking God for mercy and at the same time contemplating abortion, My dear fellow woman please keep the unborn innocent child. How are you sure if you abort this child he will still go ahead with the marriage plans? He may likely come up with another story why he won't marry you? How are you sure you are still in his good books? I bait you HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU so he knew his parents won't like you pregnant before marriage and yet he ate the forbidden fruit. A friend of mine is currently being forced by her family to leave with her boyfriend of 5years because she is pregnant (after several abortions) for him while he is claiming his family doesn't like her and therefore he won't marry her. Nne biko keep the baby, alternatively give birth to the child and give him/her to families in need of children.

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    1. Really, Do you have to be judge her? She need no judgment. We are humans we make mistakes. All she needs now is Christ so judge no one cos is not in your place to do so

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  5. Keep the baby. God will help you. And please, the best decision for you now is to embrace Jesus Christ as Lord and personal saviour.

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  6. Hmmm, this is really a tough one. Let me start with your last idea of aborting the pregnancy. For your own good and your own safety, don't do it. Keep that child for the child is yours and innocent.

    Now to the other points. I won't really criticize you for taking in so many times for who am I to judge. What I know is that you might not be living upto the expectation of those who have high hopes in you, like your parents. It is actually a good thing to keep yourself till marriage and I see no reason why we should keep causing ourselves so much pain for something we will eventually get tired of in the future. With the experience you had in your previous relationship, one would have thought you've learnt your lesson, but reverse is the case because you still made same mistake in your present relationship. My dear in case of next time, anyone that claims to love you should prove it by not touching you till after marriage (except you can't get hold of yourself). Make yourself expensive for you're special and not a cheap girl. Make people know that you have better things to offer than sex, and the serious ones will take you serious.

    Concerning your going for service soon, you need to check again because the last time information was passed by NYSC, no pregnant or nursing mother will be admitted at NYSC camp and whatever follows after camp exemption is what I don't really know. So just take time to find out. God bless you as you change from your ways and ask for forgiveness.

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