Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Almost Going Insane!

Good day aunty AVL, I bless God for a woman like you in our midst, I never believed I could write to you,I thought I could handle it, but here I am, my story is long.
I met him in 2010, I was 18 then, we started dating, he was everything I wanted in a man, having come from a home where I was not loved enough as I thought then. I practically loved him to bits for showing me love, and when in 2011 I got pregnant and aborted it and my parents found out, they did all they could to stop me but no way, as I already fell in too deep and could not come out of it.
My dad and mum talked, preached, beat, starved and prayed for me but I always ran to him instead. There were cases where I ran from home on three occasions. He used to smoke, drink, and beat me up then but I was so much in love I didn't mind. He came for marriage but my parents refused me to marry him, so in 2012 when I was 20, we planned it and I got pregnant so my parents can allow the marriage. He promised that before I was up to four months he'll come and do everything, but I was going to the seventh month and nothing. My mum got to know, and confronted him and his mum. I forgot to add that he was jobless and still living with his mum. So his mum gathered some money and gave my parents, with drinks and cola and with promise of paying the bride price as soon as I delivered. So they took me to their house, I lost the baby during birth, cos he used to beat me up and kick my tummy.
As at eight months, I got pregnant again after two months, then we had a quarrel and he threw me out and even went to insult my mum and dad, even broke bottle for my mum. I couldn't stay in my family house with pregnancy so the next day I called him and begged him, I moved in again, the beatings still continued till I gave birth, then it was hell. He'll gang up with his mum and beat me and throw me out with insults. They'll cal my dad and accuse me of so many things, my dad always came to settle things till he died last year.
I went alone to his burial even without my child, cos he'll not let me. My people demanded to see him but till date he hasn't budged. All the promises he promised like paying dowry, parking out from his mum's house and furthering my education, I haven't seen any till date, now the beating have increased.
He cheats,without remorse, he insults me at the slightest instance, he tells me ugly and fat and useless and stupid. Aunty I know I am not hundred percent good, I have flaws but just to please him I was reading things on internet to spice up our marriage, and all that. I've applied it but it's just not working, he tells me he can do without me, if am tired I should leave, he beats me with blows and kicks, he humiliates me.
I have prayed, talked, begged and cried, now am tired, I just want to leave, but I don't have anywhere to go. I can't go to my family house cos he'll just come there and beat me up and collect my baby, but I want to leave. I understand now what my parents were saying then and I regret it everyday with tears. Am sad, depressed, frustrated, am almost going insane. The last time I was crying so hard I started laughing, I couldn't help it, I don't want to go insane, please advice me, am looking for a job now in case of anybody that can help. I plan on getting away with my baby, I need accommodation, please help and advice as soon as possible, am going crazy, a lot of things I can't say, cos of recognition, but he's the worst and most devilish man I know.
I am in torture day and night, he won't give me money, his mum is the cause of everything, she brainwashed him. At the slightest provocation of his mum, I get the heaviest beating, she beats me too. They said I have bad character, but I also have good sides, but why is my own case like this? Please help.

From the basic foundation, you are not legally and traditionally married to him so the first thing you must do is to report to the welfare and ensure that he signs an undertaken in a competent court of jurisdiction. 
When you must have done that, you can then return home and gather yourself and seek for ways to sustain yourself and your daughter. 
It's great that you have learnt from your mistakes and it will be wise for you not to make any decision that may have a negative consequences on you and your daughter. 
I need not tell you what to do with that man but I will leave that for you to sort out. 


  1. Hmm God save women from crazy stupid love

  2. Some women sha... Foolish love

  3. Somethings I wonder the kind of feelings that will practically make one blind.. mbanu!
    Thats obsession. Obsession ga eme mmadu ana eti m ihe,anodu m.. enwebeghi ya.

    I wish you all best op.
    make sure to leave before he kills you.

  4. Is always hard I know at d end, but from the beginning u felt ur. Parents was bitwiching u,is good u have learnt in a hard way. Just leave cos ur not married to him. Go and get a life and make sure ur daughter don't follow ur step

  5. It's a shame because you didn't listen to your parents. Pls leave that man and go back home. Start school again and get your life back. Leave that relationship. It's not marriage. You are still young


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