Wednesday, March 23, 2016

How Do I Sort this Out?

Good evening aunty Amara, God bless you for the wonderful light you brought into this generation. Ma, I have a problem which goes like this. I married at the age of twenty after my secondary school when I knew nothing. The family I came into is a good and God fearing family but the problem there is that none of my husband's female siblings take everything about me for granted a lot, they have never for one day called me on phone until the day I put to bed, after that day none of them call again till today...
They are two girls and have not gotten married yet. They are my only problem in that family because my husband loves me so much and gives me anything I want, he never listen to their bad complaints about me... When I change my status in WhatsApp or Facebook, they will make call that I wrote something which made my husband to change, gave me idea of not having them in any of my social network, even my mum in-law who use to call me have stopped calling, but I call her.
It pains me a lot and whenever the first daughter come back, I will serve her very well but at my back she will talk bad about me. They will say that my husband doesn't take care of them but only me... I give them enough respect but they have put fear in me that I don't call them too.
Ma please is there any way I can sort these out?.. Anytime my husband's siblings will come back, my mum in-law will be harsh on me, my husband isn't around but anytime he comes back she will leave all the whole work for me even her daughter  they will just dress up and leave.
Ma please advise me. Thank you

Always remember, no matter how young you maybe, you are the wife of your husband and not a house help to anyone whether his sisters or anyone else. 
All you owe them is courtesy and respect and nothing else, no need to call his sisters except when it's very very important, do that only when your husband is around, else please do not feel worried with their attitude. Also do not expect any calls from them or feel choked by their attitude to you and your husband.
If you are living with his mother and sisters, kindly suggest to your husband that both of you rent an apartment where you and your husband can have your freedom to take care of your family and your children and express yourself as you wish. 
You are not in his family to be abused and treated with disdain, most times its better to be friends from a distance than to be familiar and be disrespected. 
Stop listening to whatever they have to say but be yourself and treat them with respect and courtesy as you would to your own family irrespective of their limitations. Some may not be happy because you got married to him and you are being taken care of by him. It's normal and you can't do anything about that but to focus on investing in your marriage and trusting God to give you the grace and wisdom to bring out the best in your marriage and support your husband in all his endeavours. 
Communicate with your mother in-law whenever you are comfortable with the idea and continuously pray for your husband and your marriage against any manipulation or deception from anyone against you. 
Also use this opportunity to develop yourself in skills and vocational training so that you don't have to sit down getting worried about the attitude of anyone when you can use the same time to create some wealth and be productive in life. 

1 comment:

  1. I don't think that should be a worry to you.just be okay with your husband and family. Call or no call won't stop them from being who they are so forgot about them abeg


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