I have a problem that bothers me a lot and I'd like to share it with you and I'd appreciate if you advised me.. I am 24 years old, married and I have a son who's almost five months.. I am an unhappy woman. I wedded sometime in November 2013, I dated my husband for about two years before we tied the knot.. The problem here is that I never knew my husband would change and be a horrible cheat.. Since the day after he paid my bride prize, it's been one problem after another... One woman after another..
Okay after our wedding, he travelled to Abu Dhabi and stayed for about five months.. Those five months I was with his parents serving these people like slaves yet they would manage to find a fault and discuss it... When my husband came back in May, Kai there's nothing I didn't see... Chats with this girl, that girl, nude pictures, telling them he's single and stuff, planning a meet up with them... I confronted him... His family especially his mom and siblings took it upon themselves to frustrate me asking why I'd go to his phone.. I decided that day that I'd never take my problems to anyone, this happened in 2014..
We moved to our own house in a different state. I was still a student so I wasn't always around but I tried my best to be home at least weekends and I told hubby to visit too.. Each time I come back, my dear husband would be acting so fishy pretending to be nice and stuffs... On a fateful day I discovered he had this separate phone and sim I don't know of... I confronted him.. He apologized...same story, it continued.. I'll be on my own different ladies would be like stay clear from my man.. Lol, I'd be like if only you knew... In my calm state I explained to those that want to hear... On an occasion one told me of her sexcapade with hubby... I was furious.. I took in early 2015 and he was never supportive.. It was then the cheating wore cap cos it was badddd. Meanwhile I never told my own family of all these cos I believed people change... It was in August 2015 I confronted hubby about not taking care of me that he called my mum and told her that I'm harassing him.. My mum called me and with a broken heart I wept and narrated my ordeal.. Chai my mum wept cos I kept all these away from her. Did I mention that since I confirmed I missed my period my husband has never had sex with me till date. No problem I didn't complain...
He travelled to US in October and in January one of the girls he lied to when he was in Abu Dhabi contacted me and forwarded her chats with my husband.. My husband wrote disheartening things about me and yet again I confronted him.. This time I told my mum... His mum called and was shouting at me that I am stressing her son.. Chai I cried and cried... My son was two months then and he automatically refused breastmilk.. I still forgave him and when he came back in April that same day I discovered his chat with another woman who he had appointments with. And another one he was to meet on the day of his return and others...
Well that day I took my son and left for my parents house.. He came and apologized and said it was never happening again... I went back... Oh my dear lord same story... I'm just tired...I'm not talking about his family that don't have simple regard for me... His mother is a troublesome woman and a meddlesome person as well as his sisters. I'm fed up... I got a job and now I've decided I'd never talk to him again... I've prayed, fasted, hoped, believed... I don't know.. I'd appreciate if you advised me cos I can't divorce him, his family will take my son, my sweat.. And again it's not Biblical.. I don't know what's happiness is anymore.. And worse is I put to bed via CS.. Help me.
I'm not here to argue your belief and convictions, that's not my job but to help you make a better decision for yourself in your marriage.
I feel that you fell in love with him because of his wealth and his family which is the reason why his family doesn't want anything that will harass his precious son or anything that will make him not to send money to all and sundry.
For him unfortunately, sleeping around and lying to every lady is as simple and easy as drinking water and breathing, he will change hopefully when he encounters God who ordained marriage institution but what I can't tell is when that will happen and what you may need to put up with while you wait and hope for him to change.
A man who could deny his vow unto God definitely has no respect for your personality and that makes me worry what made him get married to you when he wasn't so into you.
You may wish to remember that because of his lifestyle, you are vulnerable to contracting sexually transmitted diseases and infections from him which maybe life threatening, so maybe you need to be extremely careful if for any reason you desire to be intimate with him.
Where your strength cannot carry you, when you find yourself slipping through depression and constant pains and frustrations in your home, please consider separating from him and living alone pending when he's willing to make amends and be faithful to you. I suggest that he come with his family and kindred so that both of you can reach an agreement with his family and spell out the terms and conditions before returning back to him.
I do not pray that you will consider divorce but where every other options have failed, please do not give your life to be sacrificed while you expose your son to suffer for the rest of his life. Divorce is both biblical and safer than losing your life over a man who has no respect or regards for your personality.
No comments:
Post a Comment