Tuesday, May 17, 2016

How Do I Win this Game of Love?

Good evening ma God bless you as you help women everyday with their emotional problems, it's not easy. Ma this is my problem which need urgent attention.
Am 24 years, I have been in a series of relationships which I regret everyday, my ex boyfriend who proposed to me but took the ring back without much reasons just got married last Saturday. In all my relationships I've been sexually active, and I've also slept with a married man which I did because of money but I cut him off and ended it because I've always known it was a sin. I regret it every single day but he kept calling which I told him if he dares it again, I will tell his wife. Which he no longer disturb me, am saying all these to tell you how active and bad I was.
So I began praying, as God will have it, last year I met an amazing guy who I fell in love with. Even in his financial crisis I encouraged him, I care for him. I had sex with him after one month of us being together, since then we have been having sex occasionally. Like three times in a month or less. Last time I went over to his place, due to my period came out that day we never did anything, I stayed for Like three days with him but he took it all in good faith.
Since then till now we haven't had anything and he's been acting funny like he's cold these days, he doesn't always smile, but he always call me and we always profess our love at the end of our calls, we talk everyday and see most times and kiss. Now he's like, am my starving him? When will I have my woman? You know am not a virgin right? Are you cheating on me? So yesterday I told him not yet cos am praying for so many things and trying to get closer to God which by the way is true..
Now he's planning this week for us to hang out in evening and sleep out. Which I know it's for us to spend time together and have sex at night. Ma what do I do? I love him so much, I don't want to lose him because I've still lost people I had sex with. I've always given him sex, how do i stop now? Hit me with the truth what are my chances? Should I keep on giving him sex? But am in no obligation to him, he's just a boyfriend which he always say we are more than that.
I know he loves me, but ma help me to achieve this dream I've dreamt since I was a little girl. I want to win in this game of love. I want to be in the right with God and also right with my man. This is confusing and wish only you and people who can understand my predicament can help me with.. Thank you for reading, I await your response ASAP remain blessed.

Thank you for your sincerity and honesty in your mail, it shows how much you desire to be guided and supported in your relationship. 
I won't spend much time on your errors of the past, I only pray that God will show you mercy and help you understand that no matter how enticing some things might be, if it's not pleasing to God, it's actually a punishment to anyone who indulges in it. 
Those who wish to win the game of love doesn't do that by giving their body so cheap but they really hide in God's favour and glory, and allow him to lead their footsteps to the man who will love her personality much more than he loves her body. 
But if you decided to get what you want with your body, and then feel that if you stop having sex with him, he will understand your reasons, you maybe deceiving yourself and I will be deceiving you if I tell you that he will understand your decision. 
You laid your foundation on sex and if you wish to do what is right before God, be ready to lose anything or everything that you have invested your heart and emotions on. A man who started a relationship with sex, will not understand why he shouldn't continue with sex because all these while both of you have been enjoying the romping, you never saw anything wrong with that. 
You can either decide to please God and accept anything that your decision might bring to your relationship or continue with sex and hope that someday he will get married to you. 
But you cannot be right with God and be right with a man who doesn't see anything wrong with having sex as often as he pleases provided that both of you are under the cover of each other, whether married or otherwise. 
To him, you owe him the obligation of sex and any attempt to withdraw will be a sign that he's not competent in satisfying you, you are cheating on him, you are not enjoying his performance, or you are not attracted to him. 
I will suggest that you take your time and weigh your options before deciding on what's best for you, though I will encourage you to seek the face of God and allow the Holy spirit to guide you. You can never win the game of love with your skills and intelligence, you cannot succeed in your relationship by offering your body, all you need is God's grace and mercies to help you when you have no idea what to expect from any man. You have struggled, fought, played and offered your heart to win a man, this time around, I encourage you to surrender to God and trust him to give you a man who will love you much more than you can possibly imagine and bring out the virtuous woman in you.


  1. My love just as aunt amara has said, you were indeed honest and sincere in your post and also your past is no longer relevant, not just to man but also to God once you have sincerely turn a new leaf. But if you want me to be honest with you, this young man presently does not love you, all he wants is same thing others who have come and gone also want. You guys had sex in just one month of knowing yourself, am a man and I will tell you the, the young man got what he want and so far he has been enjoying it, any attempt to deprive him will make him to start nursing stupid ideas in his head, just like what you are currently experiencing with him. But please honey if you chose to continue living in fear that you may loose them when you deprive them of access to your body, I can tell you the truth that this are the kind of men you will keep attracting, and I know this is not the kind of life you want any more which actually prompt you to cry out. So please my dear, I want you to take a stand this minute, abort the suppose hang out he is already planning, personally I will tell you to let go of him and focus fully on God from henceforth but if that will be hard for you to do, then ask him to meet you up but in an open gathering and make him to understand that you are not cheating on him, you only have turn a new leaf and you want to focus on God, if he oblige to join you on this new decision of yours, then fine but if he refuses, just let him go, see more honour and joy your new decision will bring to the heart of God, and you can be rest assured that He will honour this decision of yours by actually causing you to win in this game of love. When you flash back on the number of men who has gone into you and the likes who are still out there fancying that such ladies would cross their path, it should motivate you to press on and never look back. Am looking forward to you writing back to share your testimony of how God has honoured your decision by bringing your husband your way and not a player anymore. So much love from here.

  2. What a lovely and powerful reply, Dear poster what you need most is God who will lead you to that man that will you and love what you want to become. you want to serve God but the man you claim you love desires to lure you into doing what you do not want to do again. Anybody that does not have the same vision with you is not your friend because both of you are not moving in the same direction. Jesus said if your right hand will cause you to enter hell cut it off for it is better that you enter into heaven with one hand than enter into hell with your whole body. I think Amara has said it all that it up to you to make that choice for yourself. for me I believe you should leave the guy and serve God whom your spirit is lounging to meet. God is all the need to get all your needs met.there is a way that seems right to a man the end is destruction. Please sister get wisdom for that is the principal thing.You will never regret your relationship with God. God bless you

  3. Dear poster.... Ur story is almost like de story of my youthful age. Sex blocks alot of things for us... To tell u de truth, ur relatiinship with dis guy may nt last cos sex is already involved. Buh i will advice you, from life experience... when you meet de nxt guy... Make sure u àvoid any occasion of sex.. Encourage him to have a relationship without sex with him. This wilk help both if you know what you u want out of the relationship. That was my case till i met my husby... He agreed to a no sex relationship and here we are.. Living as man and wife.. Hving de while sex in de world anytime and anyhow we want it. So my dear... God's time is the best. Its not too late to do the ryt thing. Cut off every sexual activity with your boyfriend and see if he will still stay. Go out with him dis weekend and if you cannot stand ur ground on no sex.. . Deb make alternative plans on wia to pass the nyt. Goodluck


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