Thursday, May 5, 2016

Marriage: Not for Babies!

Marriage is more than romance, it's beyond the hormonal surge to have sex and be in the arms of a handsome man and a beautiful lady. 
They're beautiful expectation of life but there is more to those and anyone who desire to walk into the divine covenant of marriage must sit down, count his and her cost, make realistic projections and equip himself or herself with the skills, information and the wisdom that he or she needs before inviting the world to celebrate with them.
Such an individual must prepare himself mentally to take responsibilities of his or actions, to manage things when they may not be working as planned, to carry everyone along in his or her endeavours and to sacrifice his or her comfort for the good of his or her family. 
A man who desires a happy home will go out and work out how to provide the daily bread, shelter and clothing before getting married to a lady. 
It is spiritually wrong for a man who have not left his father and mother to get married to a lady and frustrate her life by exposing her to many struggles and challenges of life. 
The first criteria a man who desires to get married must meet is the Leaving his family! 
God understood that for a marriage to succeed, it must be independent of any kind of influence from anyone whether close or extended. 
Family provides food, shelter, security, clothing and comfort. Irrespective of how poor a family maybe, you will always spot these attributes and that is what makes family what it is, the most important, the basic and the unique aspect of human existence and development. 

When a man desires to get married, he must understand his role as the provider of food, shelter, security, clothing and comfort, and where he cannot provide or guarantee that, it's not advisable for him to get married to any lady because doing so will only make her to rely on others for survival. 
For a man to stand out as the provider in his home, he must have something that he's living for which is what I call purpose. Unfortunately most individuals don't pay attention to this because they feel that once a man has money, he already has a purposeful lifestyle and future. 
Purpose is what drives a man to the kind of relationships he keep, the kind of future he creates, the kind of family he builds and his attitude towards his wife and children. There are some men who don't have any clear direction or purpose for their life, all they do is eat, drink, have sex, sleep and the cycle continues. But when you meet a man who have a clear cut direction for his life, what he hopes to achieve in life and how he plans to build up his family, you will not struggle to understand his personality and help him achieve his vision for his life. 
He must also have something he does for a living, I mean we all need fuel to drive a car, generator to power the bulb and in the same vein he must have a job that puts food on the table, no matter how little the income or how dirty the job maybe, let it be that at the end of the day, you can eat and thank God for a beautiful day. 
Children won't eat wishes, they don't even understand the economic crisis of any country, the only economy that they care most about is the economy of their tummy, so no man goes to a lady for marriage and then say something like, "You are my wife, let's get married and trust God to provide a job for me". Dude that's a terrible thing to do and it's also a wicked thing too because you are only dragging her out of her family to starve her. 

Some individuals are so attached to their parents that when they have any misunderstanding with their partner, the mother must hear of it, his mother knows of her life, her weaknesses, her doubts, her fears and her pains. He doesn't wait a second to attack her or complain or hit her all in the name of love. 
For some it's their friends that they tell everything to, how he did this and didn't have that, how he doesn't like this and she didn't do that.
Any one who intends to get married must be emotionally prepared because marriage is not for babies. If you feel that there won't be any misunderstandings with your partner or some disagreements with your partner or some cold wars in your marriage, please I will encourage you not to marry because you will be disappointed terribly. 
You must learn how to communicate and minimise how you talk, you must learn how to win the heart of your partner and not hit her down, you must learn how to listen more, make some compromises and some uncomfortable sacrifices before you think of exchanging marital vows with him. If you cannot manage your partner's shortcomings and help him become better than you met him or help her become the kind of wife that you desired in her, please don't think of getting married. 
The biggest deception of social media is that everything is beautiful as long as you can apply a make up, in reality, the only beautiful things are the things that you invest your all in building. So if you want a beautiful marriage, stop snapping pictures and work on your attitude and your weaknesses as an individual so that when you are married, you will have little frictions and more fun.

This is one aspect of leaving that many individuals have no idea what it is all about. Some depend on prophesies, pastors, priests, spiritual daddies and mummies and prayer contractors to tell them, show them, direct them and give them signs that a smoker, a womaniser and an irresponsible partner is their husband or wife.
If an individual who desires marriage have no personal relationship with God, he or she cannot kneel down and seek the face of God and hear from God or express himself to God, if an individual doesn't spend some time to study the word of God and desire to allow the Word of God become his lifestyle or her lifestyle, if an individual doesn't have a place of worship where his spiritual life or her spiritual life is nourished and where he or she fellowship with other brethren, in all sincerity such an individual doesn't need to consider marriage because they won't understand the foundation of marriage and the spiritual implications of their vows. 
It's great to be rich, caring and handsome, it's also lovely to have the big breast standing with your hips transmitting love to all around with a lovely voice to compliment your beauty but if she doesn't have a personal relationship with God, she will only struggle to be married. 
The foundation of marriage is God so how can one succeed in an institution without knowing the creator of the institution and his purpose for the institution. This is why anyone who has a personal relationship with God cannot get hooked to anyone just because he's appealing or because she's very beautiful.

It is when an individual has successfully left his family that he or she can cleave selflessly to each other and prosper in their marriage. Marriage is no competition but it is a synergy of two individuals who have one purpose for their marriage which is to enthrone love, peace, righteousness and God's word to the new generation. 
If a man's earnings is poor, it is not wrong for his partner to support him and help him succeed in his vision. But it's entirely wrong and unacceptable for a man who is still trusting God for what his life will turn out to be to walk up to a lady and start preaching marriage to her and perhaps expect that she will work hard and marry herself to him. 
Marriage doesn't depend on money but money is very very important to meet the needs of couples and also help them accomplish their purpose in life. 
When the house rent expires, couple need money! 
When children starts coming, couple needs money!
When husband or wife is hungry, money is essentially needed!
In all of human endeavours, money plays a vital role to sustain and strengthen human relationship so let's leave sermon for Sunday services and work hard to create an enabling environment for marriage to thrive and for the partners to be happy.


  1. thank for this post. you really touch my heart

  2. Thanks for the post very educative

  3. A man can be very rich and few years after marriage goes down to is full of ups and downs u know. No condition is permanent. Joblessness is joblessness whether be4 or after marriage. They is no sure thing as guarantee job. Christ is the only guarantee in life. If men are to provide all the above u mentioned, what is the woman role then. Sit in the house and give birth? These are some of the reasons women are maltreated in marriage because most of the time they have nothing to contribute in the relationship yet they want their voice to be heard.most of them (African women) don't care about schooling,career, have no vision for themselves. All they care about is getting married to a Provided (man). Come on people

  4. What happy after years of marriage the soo called guarantee provider dies or divorce the lady? Then she will start searching for the next provider or begging around.

  5. Thumb up for ds post, God will continue to nourish and butreess ur knowledge,understanding and wisdom

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