Friday, July 29, 2016

Am I Too Old and Ugly for a Lady?

I am 33 years, I'm my mum's only child, and I'm single. My parents separated when I was three years. My dad had other wives and children, but I'm his first child, but my mum never remarried.
I graduated in 2009, did my NYSC in 2009/2010 in Kogi. In year 2005 when I was 22 years, I won N450,000 from a soft drink company. I used N50,000 to meet my needs and used N400,000 to purchase an hectare of land at the outskirt of my town(Akure).
The land was being used as plantain cultivation before I purchased it, so I continued with the plantain cultivation after the purchase and I greatly improved on what i met on ground. By the time I finished my NYSC in 2010, the farm have grown so big and looking so nice, such that it worth waking up every morning, getting dressed and say I am going to work. The land is fertile so I was making an average of N20000 - N22000 a month from bunches of plantain I sold there.
My mum gave me a decent two bedroom apartment after youth service so the issue of accommodation wasn't a problem, and I had something doing which was bringing money. If I had gotten married then(2011,2012), I would still have lived a good life. But I was complacent about the issue of partner, I didn't take it serious, I was more interested in using my certificate to secure a good job, although I continued with my farm. I think I was careless and I didn't take my chances, I had a house I could call my own, and I had a place that brings me money but didn't take the issue of having a partner serious, some guys had nothing yet they did the needful at the right time.
So in 2015, at 32 years, when I realised that time was going, I decided to take the issue of partner serious, but the issue is this, it's those that I do not like/nor have feelings for that wants me to ask them out. I hardly got whom I truly wanted, it's either they are engaged or they are not interested.
In fact one happened the day I clocked 33 years (26th May 2016) which affected me psychologically and got me so worried hence I want to share the experience with you.
I meet a lady on Facebook in August 2015, she is 23 years old, she hails from Kogi(she is an Igala lady), although she was born and raised in Akure, I served in Kogi so I speak Igala, because I speak Igala, it was easier for me to get her attention. We started from just being friends, and we later met one on one on few occasions.
I discovered that I liked her, I told her about myself and I informed her that I'll ask her out in the future. So we were communicating on phone on daily basis, our level of communication was so strong such that I do apologise if I don't call her for three consecutive days. In fact if I want to do anything, I do seek for her advice.
She gained admission at 23 years(NCE), but I didn't mind, I gave her top quality advice when she was heading to school. All these while, she lied to me she wasn't engaged and that she wasn't into any relationship. My dad got a chieftaincy title in Akure late 2015, it was a widely celebrated event, and I was involved in some logistics, she was always calling me, giving me advises.
In February 2016, my immediate half sister did her introduction(it was so elaborate in fact it was like engagement). Prior to the event, she was always calling me, and giving me the needed advise about how to play my role as the first born of the house.
In march 2016, I finally secured a federal government job, in fact she was so happy for me, while going for the interview, her phone calls and advises were always there. She knew my mum, she used to see my dad and some of my half siblings on Facebook so she knew we are not small people(please I'm not trying to be immodest, I'm just trying to tell you the real situation of things).
In terms of comparison, her family isn't my family's match. She told me her dad is a lumber-jack, but I didn't mind, I just loved her unconditionally. Shortly after I secured a good job, I told her about my wish to make her my Mrs, but she said she wasn't ready for relationship.
Please note, she will be 24 years in August.
So a day to my 33rd birthday, I called her and told her we needed to talk on my birthday and she said no problem, she was even the first person to send me a text that day. So around 8pm, I called and said I'm not getting younger and I need to sort out some things with her. I told her I wish to make her my Mrs, so I asked if she wants me to wait till she finishes her 100L, or maybe I should forget about her completely. She said she will respond in three days time.
After the call, I sent her a text to inform her not to agree to be my woman if she knows she doesn't love me. So I called her moments later to know if she saw my text and she said yes, she then said she would like to reply now, so I asked her to go ahead, but unbelievably she said she doesn't care about who I am, nor the family I came from, she told me she doesn't think we are meant for each other.
I was so shocked to hear that, I managed to accept her verdict maturely and cut the call decently. Here are my questions, is it because I'm too old? Am I not handsome, is she feeling inferior or does she feels she isn't good enough? Please help with your view.

She is in the best position to say why she didn't wish to spend the rest of her life with you and whatever her decision may be, it doesn't in any way reduce your personality, your value, your handsomeness or your attributes as a man. 
For one, you are a responsible and organised man who have maximised the opportunities that God have brought to you for your own good. You have established different streams of income and have achieved greatness by investing in the things that matters most in your journey. 
And you are neither too old or too inferior for any lady who you desire to spend the rest of your life with. All you need to do now is to equip with the right information and knowledge that you need to communicate effectively with a lady and woo her without coming off as a proud or a boastful man. 
You need to learn how to communicate love, affection, attention, beauty, and honesty to a lady. You need to learn how to listen to the heart of a lady, how to compliment her personality, the little things that matters most to her, the things that wow her heart and make her feel loved and appreciated by you. 
Every lady is open to a man who can prove to her that she deserves to be loved, appreciated and cherished, and even when she's not available for a relationship, she can't deny your love and affection to her. 
Don't let the attitude of one lady make you feel that you cannot win the heart of a beautiful lady or let the attitude of one lady make you settle for a lady who you are not attracted to just because you feel that you cannot win a gorgeous lady for yourself. 
If you desire a lady who has a big breast, heavy duty buttocks and a flat tummy, please prayerfully trust God to lead you to where she is, if you are looking for a lady who will help you grow spiritually, emotionally and financially, please humble yourself and avoid using what you have to win the heart of a lady. 
Let your priority be to build a healthy friendship with the opposite sex so that you can understand who she is and what she need before deciding whether she's the best for you or not, and please be careful not to scare some ladies away with marriage proposals so that you don't end up getting hurt by their attitude or getting married to a desperate lady who will ruin your life and make marriage miserable for you.
When you meet the right person, you will definitely have many reasons to smile and enjoy the rest of your life. 


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  3. AM
    Great Advice from a wonderfu1 woman. Poster, you are gorgeous and wonderfully made. I wish you all the best. Cheers 😍😍😍😍

  4. AM
    Great Advice from a wonderfu1 woman. Poster, you are gorgeous and wonderfully made. I wish you all the best. Cheers 😍😍😍😍

  5. Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" .. Nothing else nothing more.

  6. Try ask her the reason Y she think u can't be her crown,
    I see u both compatible I just feel she pensive u differently from the way u present urself u both can still work some tin out.


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