Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Am I Abused???

I can't think straight. My husband curses and threatens to hit me when he is angry( and that is almost always)... I currently cannot hear with my left ear due to hitting and dragging of the ear by him... If I am emotionally down, he never comforts me, if am sick he says it's pretense, and that makes me desire his care the more
and sometimes beg for attention but get none.... I then feel like just dying and hopeless.
He never commends nor encourages me, always find faults, but he says despite his attitude I should always know that he cares, loves and understands the pains I pass through in caring for the home. I should just accept him the way he is...
I can't cook nor take care of the home, it's endless,... Is it abusing my family? Or calling meetings for me with his brothers? Or shouting abusively and accusing me of things for neighbours to hear?
He threatens to deal with me when his finances are better, in fact am an emotional wreck. I have my faults but I crave for affection.
my family has various issues so am told to sort myself by myself. I have two kids who I sometimes transfer my frustration on... (weeps) ... He keeps telling me that I don't know how to handle a man, so I must suffer for it.
I feel happier when am not around him... He is a good man though when he is happy and have good plans for his kids...
Am confused, should I run away and beg him to feed my kids? Am a Bsc holder but no job... As an typing this now, am an emotional wreck. He didn't give me money to buy pad and pap before he left for work because the last money he gave me was exhausted on drugs for me and the kids, am using cloth...
By the way the business he set up for me, I have to make daily refunds, else hell will be let loose.

When you don't have any reason to be happy with your decision to marry a man, when you feel that dying will solve your problems, when you feel empty and emotionally crushed in your marriage, when you have lost your dignity as a woman, please consider taking a break, or a walk, and return back to your family. 
Separation is quite different from divorce, and there are some marital crisis that cannot be resolved until both parties have separated from each other and have taken some time to reevaluate and renegotiate the marriage to know whether they still wish to continue with the marriage or move on with their lives. 
You are living with a man who is comfortable financially but is emotionally and psychologically unstable for marriage. It seems that his wealth is your only source of happiness, painfully his wealth couldn't provide a sanitary pad or a pap for your baby. 
When you live with a man who curses, shouts, and tortures you psychologically, and when you live with a man who draws your ears and treats you like a slave, there is every likelihood that you may start acting like him to others, or get lost in yourself or slip into depression. 
Psychological abuse is one of the worst kind of abuse because it destroys your soul but nobody else knows what is going on in your life. 
If you are not comfortable with what you are experiencing in your marriage, please do not manage it to avoid losing your life and being crushed in your marriage. 
Consider separating from him and involve your families and counsellor to intervene and help both of you resolve your differences in your marriage. 
Keeping quiet won't solve your problems in your marriage, you need to take some break so that your family can intervene. You are not a slave and you don't need to beg him to take care of his children because they are his responsibilities and it is his duty to do so. Please save yourself from this abuse so that you can give your best to your children.

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