Wednesday, August 31, 2016

My Family Bluntly Refused Giving their Consent.

Good day ma. God bless you for your immense contributions to issues concerning both singles and married.
Aunty am in my early 30's and plans to settle down by mid next year.
My problem is the woman I want to marry is from Cross River and am Igbo.
My parents and every member of my immediate and extended family have all bluntly refused giving their consent to our union.
The last time I discussed the issue with my family, my dad's blood pressure rose because he wants me to marry from my state, and see me as a disappointment
I have not told her of my family's refusal, I don't know how she would see it or take it, am ready to fight on no matter how long it takes to convince them, but my fear is that she is might end the relationship if I tell her and she might think it's an excuse on my part to also leave her.
Please help me ma, should I tell her of the position of things, and how do I convince her to stand by me while I fight to make her mine. Thank you ma.

My joy and gladness is that you are willing to give your all to convince your family and anyone who really cares about your happiness that she is the lady God have prepared for your journey. 
I understand that parents love their children in such a manner that they wish to detect the choices for their children, but the painful thing about such attitude is that they may end up destroying the life of their children and put such a child in a state of constant emotional torture and pains. 
Who you will marry is your sole decision, your parents' duty is to give you counsel and their support, but not to select who to marry or dictate where you must marry from. 
I will suggest that you don't inform your partner of the current hitches in convincing your family to bless you, since from the tone of your message you sound as though she may not have the emotional capacity to support you if you should inform her. 
Encourage her to always pray for you and don't allow your emotions to betray you in her presence. Also it's good you don't inform her so that she won't have any negative perception of your family or feel that she's being rejected by your family, but always let her know that your family can't wait to receive her. 
On your own part, you can involve a counsellor or an elder that your family respects, or your pastor to intervene on your behalf and plead for their support. By the moment they see that you are not willing to give up, they will be forced to accept your decision. 
Never you allow the sentiments of others to push you into getting married to a lady who is not your heart desire. Everyone who's disagreeing with your choice of partner got married to their own choice of partner, so please stick to your partner and pray that God will convince them before the end of this year.

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