Wednesday, May 20, 2015

I am thinking of Divorce

Good Morning Ma,how is your family. 
Please is concerning the message I Sent to you some days ago, Please I need your advice because I'm thinking of divorcing him.... Good day ma,I'm 37 years married with a kid(girl), my husband is 50 years now and he base in USA.I am a working class lady in Nigeria. 
We got married two years ago in church,court and tradition,before we got married he told me he was married to a white woman and they had a boy and girl,but they divorced since 2007 and he sent the prove of divorce papers before I finally agreed to marry him.
I got married to him not minding our age differences because...he is mature and that he would be different from most young guys but the reverse was the case.
Each time there was a project in the village,he would ask his sister or brother's wife to supervise it & pay without my knowledge. Recently he came back for his younger brother's burial who died in USA.To my greatest surprise he came back with the divorce white woman,he didn't tell me the day he was to come back,when I asked him,he said that she has every right to visit whenever she wished to, that she contributed to d building of his house.
In fact we quarreled that night and he pushed me to leave his house that night.
His siblings were supporting the woman both the one from USA.
I'm just alone in that family.when he got back to USA, it took him a week to call and ever since he's been sending series of text, calls and I don't pick nor call back,he deceived me and now he pretended that all was well,probably the woman was not around him when he was making the calls because when they were in Nigeria they went out together,he doesn't care about my feelings,my baby and even our feeding talk more of making any effort for us to visit him. 
I'm so confused,don't know what step to take,my parents are not happy,he told his uncles to call me and they said everything would be resolved by December,they were against his action, he use to come back once in a year i.e every December and yet he won't give me rest of mind,does not give me little respect or my devotion as a wife during that period. 
I'm emotionally traumatized,I Can't concentrate on my job and other things,I don't know if I made mistake by marrying him. Please ma I need your advise. God bless you and your family.please hide my identity.

15 comments:

  1. I think dis will serve as a lesson to our young gals, am sure he used to shower u with lots of gifft before marriage...and probably u disappointed the young guy that was with u before american man came in pics. U have to take decision based on ur happiness.

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  2. Beautiful OnyinyeMay 20, 2015 at 3:52 AM

    It has happened. Pick the pieces of your heart and move on. I really feel your trauma and wish you never gave in to his proposal. It is a pity!

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  3. Obodo oyibo husband.wen will it stop enticing us,spinsters beware.wait till dec nd see wat happens

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  4. My dear, take heart. For me you made a mistake at the beginning, you shouldn't have married him knowing fully well that he has a wife with kids. Besides once a man is married and that woman had kids with him no going back on it. What I am saying is this: She is the legitimate wife cos the bible also said it. The first wife is always the first. Take heart

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  5. My dear, you made a mistake by marrying the man knowing fully well he is married and with kids. What were you expecting? ?? As long as the woman had children with him she remains the first and legitimate wife . Even the Bible also said it. So sorry my dear take heart. Next choose singles like you.

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  6. It not matter of obodo oyibo husband it a matter of the man himself "a cheat"they are every where and are best in deceiving innocent ladies.and they are professional lies.my dear thankGod you are working think less about him and focused on your self and child.

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  7. For the fact that he was married before you met him, divorced or not, you should not have married him. Any divorced marriage have every tendency to be put back together. Any way just move on with your life. God will see you through.

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  8. For the fact that he was married before you met him, divorced or not, you should not have married him. Any divorced marriage have every tendency to be put back together. Any way just move on with your life. God will see you through.

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  9. I actually have a sense of respect for your husband because; he didn't forget the labour of love and sacrifices of his first wife. Judging from your write up,it seems the first wife made him whom he is today. Will it then be fair to relegate her to the background simply because she is white?
    You should have done your homework well on the status of their relationship. Why they divorced, how she influenced his life etc
    Inasmuch as I empathize with you, the truth is ; no woman who has laboured for the success & growth of a man will ever be forgotten by the man. That his family supports the first wife is proof of that.

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  10. I dont like the advise you guys are rendering to this girl. I think she is wrong in questioning her husband return with the white lady, i mean, the ex-wife must have been friends with the deceased brother-in-law. Her coming to the burial does not necessarily mean they are still together. I think the wife jumped to conclusion, they divorcing does not mean they are enemies, they might still be friends.
    My dear girl, your not answering your husbands text, e-mail or phone will not solve the problem, you are 37 and matured, start acting like one. Talk to your husband and resolve issues with him.
    Maybe he comes back yearly because of your attitude, and please for the sake of God, dont run to your parents for every disagreement. I wouldn't be coming back if what I will get from my wife is coldness and nagging.

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