Friday, May 29, 2015

My life is a horror,How do I leave him?

Good day to you all, i really need your candid advice.
My story goes! I am a lady of 28 years first born to my dad and last born to my mum although my mum had three kids before me two girls & a boy. I grew up with my dad relative in the village, i don't know any relative of my mum. I was told by my grandma that my mum left me after the forty one days of my birth since then I have been living in the village and i tried to ask why she always said she don't want to cause enemy between me and mother. In 2001 i had a fatal accident that made my dad take me to Lagos, i was very happy on that day, all what i was thinking in my mind was this my mum and my sisters, i will be able to know them but unfortunately when i got to Lagos reverse was the case, the frustration given to me by my stepmother was unbearable. I asked my dad about my mum and what caused their divorce he also didn't give me genuine reason and i begged him to introduce my mother to me but he said she's not a type of person i can know but later he accepted. 
Hmmmmm......... My experience with my mum and my sisters i can't say it all, i will just be brief! 
The first day i visited my mum was hell in the prison, i stayed with her for a good five hours, she didn't smile at me i was even thinking maybe she's not my real mum i went home that day thinking
what may be the cause but once in a while i pay her a visit when my dad is not around because he always used two weeks at work, i found it difficult to communicate with my mum due to her reaction towards me and my dad was a workaholic, he did not have time for me no one to share my feelings with. 
My stepmother's frustration was something else, she act as an enemy to her two kids and i even tried my best to move closer to my mum but instead of seeing love, I saw venomous hatred. 
My dad enrolled me into a private school but my stepmother won't allow him to pay my school fees on time, I will be sent home many times before he can pay. In 2004 i wrote my common entrance exams in class 4, on my graduation day non of my parents were present instead it was another person that had to stand like my mum. I continued my studies in public school, I was the one that did all the registrations, since 2004 till 19th of May 2009 that i wrote my WASSC my dad can't describe where my school was located later he stopped giving me transports and food allowances, i was the one struggling for myself, i wrote note for my fellow students just to feed myself, sometimes i trekked to school, i went on hungry fasting most of the time, many times our co-tenant will gave me food so after my exam in 2009 i left home without informing my dad i changed my phone number, a good three months i didn't call him and he didn't know my where about. Later when i gathered little money, i called him and he was begging me to come back home that am his first born but i said CAPITAL NO and i visited him when he was around, i was working in one supermarket at ogba ijaiye Lagos but my friends wanted me to joined them in their runs but i couldn't, am not a saint or holy person but i have a taste since i cannot cope with their system, i decided to stay with my aunty which was the first born to my mum in Ketu ojota. 
OMG! Her own hatred was more than the one of my mum,my first day, she stopped me from working in that supermarket she said the journey was too far from Ketu to Ogba ijaiye, i got another work close to house at the month end she always borrowed my salary and i didn't know how to ask her back.
Later i opened an account that was when the problem started, one day she poisoned my food, all my tongue was black and i pail after eating the food, i showed her my tongue and she asked what i ate, i told her the indomine i put on the table before i went to brush my teeth in the toilet and she didn't make any move as a village girl if something like that happened i knew what it meant and time delayed may cause something bad.
I went to our landlady because she was an elderly woman without saying anything i showed her my tongue and she said ha, who poison my food? She told me cut some leaves in short God used that woman to save my life. I tried to stay with her but i couldn't cope. If I was sleeping, I always woke up just to check if am safe even to eat i think twice, i left her place and moved to stay with my friend but she couldn't accommodate me because it was her madam that rented the apartment for them, they were four girls, she took me to one area in Mushin Olosha and i rented a room 
I thought I would be the only one living there but when i entered i counted the numbers of ladies in that room and we were sixteen in numbers from different tribes, they introduced me to labourer work but i couldn't do it not that I was a lazy person but i had a taste, the following morning i went in search of work, God so good i found one as a Mouka foam distributors, i was living well, I fell in love again cos one guy have broken my heart before after working for six months i thought in my mind that it was now time for me to know what caused my parent's separation and i wanted to know why i was em
I moved close to the third born, i really love her and share my feelings with her later, she asked me to come and stay with her that her husband always stayed with the second wife and i explained to my boss, i will never forget what he told me that day "seeing somebody a far is better than moving close to them" but i turned deaf ears i said i love her and i trust her and she can't harm me, so i quit my job because of the distance I've to Sango-ota she got me another work ( lotto attendants) "Baba ijebu" first month I asked for my salary, the man said my sister has come to collect it. I didn't say anything due to what i wanted to know. Later i threw the question to her by first asking my mum's name that was in 2010, she told me so i have the access to ask the main question "what caused my parent's separation" i will just brief it, she said their father was the senior brother to my dad and my dad was trying to rape our first born one day, then my mum just gave birth to me she was still in the hospital when my aunty cried to the hospital showing my mum her pant that was what lead to their separation and i asked was that all she said yes!!! After working without salary for four months i got pregnant by mistake i told the guy he said he was not ready and I was not ready as well because I have not achieved anything in life so i told my sister about it, she invited the guy and he did not deny it but he said he was not ready then he was staying with one of his friend, he gave my sister #8,000 to terminate the pregnancy but my sister went to the pharmacy to buy different types of drugs, i used it, nothing happened when i complained i don't see any signs, she demanded for another #2,000 i gave her. I didn't know anything about pregnancy and that was my first time. 
She always demanded for money, i gave her because i am scared of D & C and i begged her to keep it as a secret between two of us and she said no problem, the last time she demanded for #4,000 i gave her just for her not to reveal the secret to my mum cos her shop was not far from our house, i kept the pregnancy for four months i didn't see signs and wonders. She asked for #6,500 and i said i don't have then only #10,000 was left in my account she started to frustrate my life that she will tell my mum about the pregnant, i quickly thought on what to do so I started using fake pad pretending am menstruating, she asked me to do pregnancy test so that she can confirm i bought the pregnant strip test the following morning before she woke up i used her urine to carry out the test and it showed negative. I stop the lotto work, now my worry was how to get rid of the pregnancy, i can't leave it due to many drugs i took, when i told her am not working again she picked quarrel with me,it we went to our mum's shop on getting there she explained everything that transpired between us to her, where i was standing i felt like the ground should open and swallow me because i received the beaten of my life unknown to her am still carrying the pregnancy.
My mum made a statement that "if not that she don't want to die before her time she would have flushed me away like dirty water" that day i didn't go home, i called one of my old school friends to explain all the scenario, she took me to the hospital for the d&c paid the bill after the d&c at night I was already dead God used my friend's mum as an angel to save my life because she was C&S prophetess, she prayed and so many things i can't mentioned here on the 7th day of the D&C something like lizard came out of my private part i put it on my palm and that was my baby ;( they are twin, the doctor took only one because he showed it to me when he finished. After a month i regained my life back i went back to my aunty's place to pack my bags there i met the shock of my life,she told me not to enter her room and i begged her to carry my bags out, she said no that was when i got provoked, i said many insulting words to her she wanted to slap me and I dodged it, I used the cloth she was wearing to wrap her face with her head, her hand, touched one iron stick she wanted to hit on me and the stick mistakenly suck her left breast, someone called my mum that day i received another beaten of my life and i said if she doesn't release my bag one person will have to die between us, later he released my bag, my mum went out, i bent down to arrange my cloths my sister used new blade to cut me in three different places saying i gave her mark and she do the same to me. 
I was bleeding like a killed cow but i took my bag, moved back to my friend's place i enrolled myself into nursing training in 2011.
In 2012 ending God sent someone as an angel through my friend that introduced working in Egypt, to me i explained to him i can do any work but robbery and prostitution was no go area and i explained my financial status to him he said no problem, we only talked on phone have not seen him before. He wrote an agreement and sent it to my email, i copied the note, i signed and submitted to where he told me.
And with God on my side i fulfilled my promise. The first day i arrived Egypt and this man saw me he fell in love which i knew with the way he was doing, the following month he spoke out that he love me and he wanted to marry me although he was financially buoyant but i turned him down because the age intervals was too much, was 25 then and he was 40 but single and i don't have any feelings for him. I wanted to work and have my money so that in future nobody will say i was the one that did this for you, later he started to behave strange even if i had issue with my madam and i called him for advice he will just do some how just for peace to reign to accept his offer, the first day he made love to me he didn't last for five minutes.
I was wondering what may be the cause, i asked him, he said due to stress the second time same thing happened i kept shut since then am using three or four months at work just to avoid him because i don't love him. 
After i finished paying my money i said we should cut the relationship off cos i tried to love him but the feelings was not coming and he said okay! Last year he married one lady and he told the lady am his sister, me and that lady became friends he told me later i changed my work then my madam wanted one more person i called the lady so we became a very good friends, we discussed many things but later she asked me as a nurse that if a man did not last up to five minutes on bed which drugs can he use i jokingly asked if she was talking about my uncle and she said yes. Well am happy for her because she put to bed early this year with a twin one boy and one girl but anytime he called me he always say he love me... 
Now my problem is that am having chest pain i got home last week and i explained to him about my health, he said he will take me see a doctor, i opened up to him that am going back to Nigeria to open a supermarket and to complete my nurse training after that i will settle down but he said CAPITAL NO that i can't leave him just like that, that he really love me and i reminded him about his wife and the kids he said am different from them. He has seized my passport and i don't want to do something stupid so that i will not look like an ungrateful person. Please advice me on what to do and sorry for the long write up.Thanks


  1. The only person that can save you is God. You have to be born again. Start from there. Look for a bible believing church and attend. Pray always that God will liberate you from that man. May God help you.


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