Monday, June 8, 2015

Every little thing I do, she gets angry.

Avl,  Please advice me.
I'm a lieutenant in the Nigerian Army in my early 30's about to marry a 24 yrs old girl, the problem is that any small thing I do she don't like ,she gets angry for days and threatens that its better if we don't marry again ,that she don't want to be crying always when we marry.
Let me give two examples of the things I did on different occasions that prompted her to make the threat.
One,I was talking with her on phone and my car painter was asking me for my car keys and I was also trying to tell him where I kept it and the following day I was talking with her on phone while trekking and also greeted someone on the way.
Two,I went to her house when she was in their living room, I told her to give me food and later declined but lastly told her to bring it and she became angry, this is the girl that her male friends calls her on phone making advances at her but because  I trusted her,I don't bother anymore though I used to. But anytime a female calls me her mood will change that moment and will remain like that for days.
She can stay with male friends but don't trust me making calls with female friends even though she never heard of me cheating on her. I'm very confused about this relationship and our is slated for 28 Nov 2015. Pls advice us on the best way out. Thanks
Dear sender, 
Just like every baby craves for attention, so do ladies especially when they are deeply in love with the man. 
Take your time to understand her need, and ignore the things she say as she may not always mean that as you may perceive of her. 
It may be as a result of her concerns, fears and past experiences that make her say the things she say when you do not give her your time. 
Always assure her of your love for her and your willingness to support and help her become a better lady. 
Celebrate her when you can and listen more to the things she doesn't say. 
Pay attention to her mood and feelings, and communicate with her much more than you communicate to her. 
Marriage is quite different from military experience, you don't just give orders, you also give compassion, understanding, patience, and a heavy dose of love to enable her serve you as her husband. 
Get to know the things that hurt her and minimise them as much as possible. 

Whenever there's any misunderstanding, please listen and do not make assumptions no matter how you may feel about it. 
Every lady as long as she is a lady will always get attention from admirers but as long as she has committed herself to you, please ignore all those calls and trust her for who she is to you. 
In all, always present your relationship to God in prayers and ask him for the wisdom, patience, Grace and the maturity you need to be a fulfilled father, husband and a role model in your family. 


  1. In addition to what Aunty Amara said,have you tried to understand her LOVE LANGUAGE,as well as evaluate her emotional maturity? Marriage demands a certain state of mind,and a certain level of maturity both for the man,and the woman. Entering marriage without first attaining these states,will create unnecessary problems for your marriage.

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  2. Dear poster, call her to her attention sit her down and talk to her, make her understand you don't like the things she say sometimes, try to find out her hubby likes and dislikes, show her love and care make her to see it in you and around you. Although love should come from both side not from you alone and as for her male friends try to find out what she have with them also to know if she is acting something funny with them. Marriage is like a television channel when you are in it you keep watching the same channel so from the start we have to make the right choice not to start watching wrong/unwanted channel. #Ella


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