Saturday, June 27, 2015

I am choked, I'm looking up to God!

Our beautiful Aunty.
Have you ever been wrongly accsused?? Have you ever been emotionally battered?
Have you ever been called names(harlot,useless etc) by the one you loved?
These and many more are what am passing through in the hands of my hubby who took my virginity 11 years ago.
Aunty am going crazy anytime he speaks with conviction that am wayward.
Since my life no man has ever made love to me except him but instead of Honour,  i recieve Humiliation.
Sometimes i regret why i kept myself from pre-marital sex and i will feel like giving it a try since he is always calling me a cheat.
But I always remember the voice i heard while inquiring from God if he is my hubby.
I heard clearly you will marry him but make sure you dont DERAIL. Aunty this is what is holding me back anytime he pushes me to the wall with his heart breaking words.
I have gone to our Pastors to come and counsel us but he will not listen to them.
I cried my heart out each time he comes up with this behaviour.
Out of bitterness of heart i lay a curse on him that things will never go well with him unless he appologise to me.
But even at that he stood his ground and said the unjust curse of an unrighteous will not stand.
Am looking up on God if he will not vindicate me cos am choked.

Dear beautiful wife, 
I can feel your pains and your endless tears. I may not have the best words to soothe your heart but always remember that you are loved by God and His precious Son Jesus Christ. 
Remember that your children loves you and feel your pains just as you do, please do not forget that I sincerely love you and understand what you are going through. 
I will help you make sense of your husband's attitude. 
He has a lot of fears, worries, insecurities, low self esteem and that is why he tries to constantly inflict you with the same so that he will feel fine with himself. 
He wouldn't listen to counsellors if they don't address the main challenge which is the state of his heart. 
You feel like fighting him but the painful truth is that he maybe fighting a battle that you have no understanding of. 
Whenever he starts saying things like that, smile and be cheerful, that would send an impression to him that he has lost grip on your emotions. 
Don't border cursing him, trust me, he spends his days in worries and fears and you have no idea how terrible that could be for him. 
Pray that God would heal him and make him whole. It takes a heart that is hurting to hurt an innocent heart. 
Remember that you are married to him but accountable to God, so you didn't do anything you did because of him but because you love God so much that you could do anything to be with him. 
It was the love of God in your heart that made you keep your body for your husband. 
The same love of God in your heart is all you need to help him overcome his many fears. 
Pamper him as a helpless baby that needs the understanding, love, patience and wisdom of a virtuous mum to help him become a better man. 
Pray for him and when he begins to attack you with words, ignore him and do not retaliate with bitterness but remember,that it's the hurting that hurt others. 
I know it was not what you wished for but I believe you have all you need to overcome these phase of your marriage. 
Cheer up beautiful, by the grace of God and with the inspiration of the Holy spirit, I am hopeful that you shall overcome this and rejoice with your husband and family. 

1 comment:

  1. This advice really spoke to me, but I have learnt to fight back with more bad words and it doesn't make me happy, though he is cooler now but I wish I never learnt to say worse things to him bcos its makes me to be on d defensive and quick to anger which was not my person. I wish to stop and am making effort to by joking with d negative things he says instead of flaring up.


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