Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Hope this helps!

Dear aunty Amara, 
Please, help post this, some people might learn one or two lessons from it. 
Before now I never believed in love in relationship, I was always telling myself that when I get married, I would love whoever I get married to. 
It actually helped me, there was a time I dated a man (Shell staff) that wanted me by all means he was 33 then and was married but lied he was single, his international passport was single, I even met with his cousins, the God that saved me was I made it clear to him that I was not going to involve in sexual relationship with him, he tried to entice me but I refused, it was when I deliberately broke his heart, after dreaming severly he was married, that I discovered he has 3kids. 
All the guys that crossed my path, loved me but I was never compatible with any of them, it was bad to the extent that even when I hugged them, I don't feel anything. 
Some were asking if I was a lesbian. I never had sex with any of them, broke some hearts and later appologized, even the one that called me on phone that said he would not be able to continue in the relationship because of sex, I told him okay immediately because nothing to lose and we became friends and I even attended his wedding. 
At a time, I thought something was wrong with me because I'm pretty, I have a good job and i'm sociable, I club too but my female friends must accompany me whenever I was clubbing with a guy, I was always playing smart, everybody was saying I wasn't serious, some of my friends became envious because I was always meeting big guys but don't ask them for money because I have always been financially independent, that was how I was brought up(contentment)
When I meet a guy I know I cannot date, I will turn him to my friend and match make him with any of my friends even when I don't have a date. 
Aunty Amara, I thought something was actually wrong with me at a time.. I remember what one of my friends that once asked me out told me in 2011"he said: not until you meet a guy you love and that loves you, you will never be serious" I prayed to God to bring the right person for years It was when I met the guy i'm dating now that everything changed, I now have peace in relationship, even when there was misunderstanding and we don't talk for three weeks, I still had peace. 
He is not the outing type, does not smoke, does not take acohol but a sociable guy that loves God and very kind hearted guy. 
He never told me to stop partying or clubing but I stopped on my own.I noticed he loves me, when he is angry he will say if not that I love you, I would have pushed you to one corner since. He was always showing it but after some time he limited it, after I stupidly told him what a male friend told me, he said he was suspecting the guy was liking me, after some time(same day) he called and said I should not discuss such with him again. 
This was when he stopped calling every morning as usual, when I pressed further on why he stopped, he said love is in the heart, I know you love me and I love you too but all the I love you I said in my last relationship, what did I gain? 
We laughed over it. Recently he asked me to stop the toning cream i was using, so it wont spoil my skin, he even gave me deadline, though didn't show appreciation when he said it but yielded to his advice meanwhile other guys I dated, they never advised me even when I was doing something wrong, the only time they talk is when they don't get sex that they are looking for. 
Though I know I have made some mistakes too by playing with people's emotion because to me then it was fun, the reason I am sharing this is because of some post I read on your wall, so people can learn one or two things from my experiences too 
My advise to ladies is, please whenever you are in any relationship and you don't have inner peace, kindly walk away, it will save you of so many troubles and don't be in a hurry to date any guy that comes your way, wait patiently for the right man. If you are dating a jealous lover, don't ever tell him about other guys that are into you or all your discussion with your male friends.Hope this will be of help to one or two persons.


  1. So did the guy marry you? I was hopping that this story will end in "he proposed to me and we are now married". I understand where you are coming from but I wish it has ended in marriage or even proposal. Any way good luck in your relationship. Different things work for different people.

  2. When both of u are married please come back and re-write the story

  3. Until the heart is RE-TRAINED with Truth,it cannot be trusted to be a sure guide. Please,everyone,go for Wisdom,...the God's kind of Wisdom. That is your only safety in the age! Thumbs up,girl!

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