Saturday, August 22, 2015

I Don't Trust Her Any Longer.

Good morning ma. Please I really need your personal advice on my relationship. 
I'm currently doing my 400L Industrial Training. There is this girl I'm in love with and we've been friends since 100L. 
Ever since we started the relationship, we've committed to make it healthy and Godly and that we've done so far. 
But the issue now is that I'm really confused about our future together. 
On 15/05/2015, I was with her phone when a text came in. It was a guy whom she had sex with four days earlier craving for her attention as well as briefly describing the earlier encounter. I was heartbroken and confronted her. 
She sorrowfully admitted and begged for forgiveness, claiming that it was a mistake . 
I later found out that she fasted and asked God for forgiveness. When we met last saturday, she explained everything to me tearfully, claiming that I'm the only one she loved, and the other guy has been disturbing her for long. 
At a point, she told me that if leaving her will make me happy, she perfectly understands. 
The issue now is that I've forgiven her and I still love her but I don't trust her any longer. I don't know if I should continue with the relationship or break up with her. 
I'm really confused. 

One of the painful realities that relationship exposes to you is not only the virtues and the beauty of your partner but also their inner struggles and weaknesses which they wish to conquer. 
Understanding that every individual needs love and forgiveness to overcome their own shortcomings would help you in a greater measures to appreciate their efforts and sacrifices in a relationship. 
Everyone looks perfect and pretty but only those who come close to an individual would tell the difference between what he saw and what he received. 
We all need both love and forgiveness without which we can never prosper in life and marriage. 
Granted that what she did was not only a betrayal of confidence and trust but also a careless and insensitive act which would have crushed your ego as a man and made you feel disrespected in the relationship, forgiving her will only be the best approach to helping her understand the essence of commitment and trust in a relationship. 
Trusting her as an individual who has genuinely repented from her folly will make spiritually mature and emotionally stable in managing issues like this. 
It may not be easy for you and many others may call you names for deciding to accept her back after she betrayed your trust in her but if God could forgive, forget and still fulfil all his promises for us his children, who are we to judge others by their errors and weaknesses. 
Please do take your time to meditate about your relationship with her, evaluate your vision for the relationship and your plans for your life. 
Do you feel that what she did doesn't deserve mercy and you may never forgive her to the point of not judging her with it? 
Do you feel that her virginity once broken by another man makes her of no value for your ministry? 
Do you think that she will always continue to cheat on you even if you forgive her now? 
If you feel that she hasn't genuinely repented from her shortcomings, then please do not continue with the relationship because you may end up torturing her and reminding her of her struggles. 
But if you genuinely love her and you are deeply convinced that she has repented and her renewed her commitment to God and the relationship, please be patient with her and continue to pray for her and encourage her by strengthening the bonds of communication, committing yourself to her and helping her to overcome her fears and concerns about the relationship. 
It may not be easy for you at the moment but with God's grace and wisdom, it's possible to forgive her and help her become a virtuous woman that you desire to marry. 


  1. This sounds like high school kinda relationship, the truth is that she wants to be in a sexual relationship, but you want a relationship with no sex, so she hooked up with a guy that can give her what she wants...There is nothing like a mistake in having sex with someone, if she's trying to spell your surname and didn't get it right, yeah that's a mistake, but having a d**k inside of her is no mistake, cos no one trips and fall on a d**k...The truth is, if you're ready to have a sexual relationship with her, she might be faithful to you, but if you're not ready, trust me she will still hook up with another guy, and this time around, you will never find out. The choice is yours. #enoughsaid

    1. hahahahahahahahahahahah. u made my morning, thou ur right. nobody makes mistake and fall on a long thing

  2. She is not faithful but it is up to you to make your decision weather to continue with the relationship or to end it. If i were you, i will end it although no one is perfect but that is a silly mistake she made. #Ella

  3. 1. Romantic Relationships are STRICTLY for the purpose of marriage,and it is STRICTLY for people who are READY FOR MARRIAGE. Are you?
    2. It is STRICTLY for people who are INDEPENDENT,and know where they are going. You have no business being in a relationship if you are still dependent. Are you? Do you?

    Just be a friend and a brother to her,but not a boyfriend and save yourself all these stress and heartache. You run the risk of self-poisoning your blood,or jeopardizing your future. She may not even be a part of your future,even though you think she is. This is not the time for romance,please. Focus on securing your future while building solid friendships along the way. Help cultivate that girl into great woman,but shut down anything 'romance' for now. Go and learn more about Love,dating,marriage,career,etc....

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  4. During our breakup conversation, he told me he hasn’t been happy for a while. No time frame was mentioned. Yet when we were together, he never once acted like there was anything wrong. We would laugh and joke just like before. He told be he’s tired of being lonely (I guess referring to us not living together). That made me feel so hurt for him because I NEVER wanted him to feel like that. I very loved him. I need get him back and my last chance was love spell . Entered on the website , because I read that he has a lot of positive feedback. I’m not disappoint. My lover back to me in only one month. We are happy couple now.


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