Monday, September 7, 2015

Should I Proceed With The Marriage Preparations?


Please I need advice right now because am in a state of unknown.
My story is lenghty but please help me read through.
Am 29 she's 27. Am a businessman but still growing and there is 100% possibility of a brighter future which she knew that's why she joined me doing the same business.
She lied about some stuffs about her even till now and we started about four years ago and I found out,  we broke up.
After one year we reconciled because she apologised and our relationship went deeper to the point that we've planned to tie the knot next year.
I love her very much and she claimed she loves me too.
Early last month when she talked to her mum about me, her mum told her that she should not try to marry me because am a christian and she said she'll get pregnant for me so her mum will allow us marry.
Now my problem is, yesterday I wanted to check my business structure online and my phone went off so she gave me hers.
Her WhatsApp popped up and I saw a chat she had with a guy, a muslim.
All what she promised me, love, care, marriage etc, she did with the same with the  guy.
She even sent nude pictures to the guy and asked the guy to come to where we were in calabar, because she missed him, loved him and all.
I confronted her and she started pleading that it's me she wanted, she knew what she was doing blah blah blah...THAT SHE USED TO COLLECT MONEY FROM THE GUY AND GIVE IT TO HER MOM but her mom did not know him according to her.
Most times she lied and hide so I don't really know what she want.
Truly I don't give her money because am facing little challenges in my business which she knew that when I had, I give. Am not a stingy guy.
She now suggested that we should start preparing for marriage which initially we both initially planned to do the introduction by December.
Now am confused if I should proceed with the marriage considering the relationship she's having with the guy or I should just quit the relationship.
Right now she is begging me crying like a baby that she didn't do it intentionally that she didn't have any plan towards the guy because he has a kid.
i haven't told her anything yet because truly I love her so much and she is thinking I have made up my mind not to continue because of what she did

i need matured advice as a woman. Sorry for the long write up.


I wouldn't want to make you feel bad about your partner but I have a very strong reservation for a lady that tells lies and lives a double standard life. 
If all you said and all that you read be anything to go by, then you may need to put your plans for marriage on hold so that you can sort out who you really need in your life to avoid regrets much later in your marriage. 
It's understandable that she's crying as a result of what you found out but you must be objective and honest about what you can accommodate, tolerate and sacrifice in marriage to avoid crying after the wedding programme. 
Please do not be in a haste and settle for a lady who double dates or a lady who's not trustworthy. 
I would encourage you to seek the face of God and  allow him to guide your heart and reveal the lady that he has prepared for your life and destiny. 


  1. By what you just're a christian and she's not comfortable with your religion...
    Secondly, she has a guy of her preferred religion who she professes love and marriage to..
    My brother...the signs are clear for you to see...Do not allow yourself to be kept as an alternative by someone else..It could only end up in wasted years and regret..
    If you marry her eventually, how would you bring up your kids given her preference for the islamic religion?...The problem only just gets bigger...Do the right thing my brother

  2. Pls Oga wake up from ur dream , and face the reality...

  3. 1. Relationship/Marriage is STRICTLY for people who share the SAME VALUES,BELIEFS & GOALS. It is not about religion; it is about the uniformity of your Beliefs. It is about the non-conflict of your Values. It is about travelling the SAME DIRECTION in life. The first step to Marriage,is SPIRITUAL COMPATIBILITY - It is foolish to marry someone who does not share your Values,and Beliefs,and is not headed the same direction as you. It will create constant conflicts which will eventually sink the marriage,or suppress one of the parties,as well as stunting the growth of the 2 individuals involved. Marriage is not Bonding; it is Fusion.
    Looking at your story,I don't think your girl is the main issue. The main issue is YOU - your commitment to growth, your understanding of these fundamentals,and your blatant violation of the tenets of the faith to which you claim to belong to. That says a lot about you,which you should seek to resolve first.

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    1. Waiting and Dating,by Myles Munroe
    2. The Myth of Singleness,by Myles Munroe
    3. The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage,by Myles Munroe
    4. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    5. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    6. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    7. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumble Ewedemi
    8. The 12 Tests of Love,by Tekena Ikoko

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