Please I'm having a very serious challenge in my relationship. My boyfriend is 27 and I'm 22 and we have known for a whole year.
My doubt in this relationship is that my father practically abandoned all his responsibilities as a man for my mom and I'm already noticing signs of it in this guy.
To start with, he is a control freak though I refused to be his tool or object. He diplomatically avoids anything that involves money. He once invited me to come visit him and to give me transport fare back was a problem. He will not say no to my request but he sure won't grant it especially if it involves money. I have confronted him, argued, quarrelled, and even broken up once but he has not changed.
I have also peacefully talked it over with him and nothing positive is forthcoming. Even though he wants us to get married, I have made up my mind that I won't marry him but I don't know how to discharge him without quarrels and curses.
The last time I told him it's over, he called and started cursing me and that made me to accept him back out of 'pity'.
Pls advice me cos I smell potential danger in future if we ever be.
When you perceive any potential danger, your first action is to do everything within your capacity to protect yourself from such a danger.
My joy is that this your love for him isn't blind to the red flags that you have observed in your relationship.
For a man to curse you because you decided to call it quit with the relationship shows a man who is emotionally unstable, psychologically disorganised and spiritually not mature for the kind of relationship you desire from him.
From what you said, communicating with him and understanding his personality will really destabilise your personality and will reduce you to his slave. Happiness can never be guaranteed in such a relationship.
You deserve a friend and not a boss, you need a man you can relate to and relate with, but that doesn't mean that he must be your money bag but being able to express his views and decisions about anything in your relationship matters much more than whatever he gives or not give.
If all you said be the honest truth about your relationship then please do yourself a favour and look back from where you're coming to avoid experiencing worse than what your mum went through.
You may also read warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship.
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