Thursday, November 19, 2015

I Can't Predict his Mind!

Aunty Amara ,thank you very much for your good work. Please help me out.
I met this guy on social network in July this year,he is 33 years old and am 29 years old , he use to call me everyday and spends more than thirty minutes.
From our conversation he said that he will be happy to meet me at this point in time, and he also needed someone that is matured so the very first day he came to my side and we saw for the first time,he stopped calling me as he used to do and if I didn't call him he will not call me.
So I confronted him one day and he said that he was very sorry for not calling me that he doesn't have the chance to make calls,that he was always busy with his laptop searching for a job that I should bear with him.
So one day he asked me if I will come and see him that he came back from Ph and I told him that I will give him answer the next day whether I will come or not. The next day I asked him to send me his adress that I will come the following day and he asked me when I will go back, I told him that I will go back that day in the evening time,he now said that I should forget about coming that am not prepared to come to his house.
I was surprised and I asked him why,he insisted that I should forget about coming and I told him no problem so in the evening time he called me and told me that he didn't come back that he just told me that to know what I will do.
So I don't really know his mind,he now calls me once in a while and I can't just predict what this guy can do cos we are lacking communication.
Please tell me what to do. How will I follow him? Please I need your candid advice.

Some things you need to understand about blind date is that it comes with so much excitement and expectations and many a times may lead to a great disappointment not because what you shared wasn't real but because the reality of your individuality and personality could not tally with the emotions and feelings of love you shared with your partner. 
Some thing of this nature happens if the pictures or the things you said of yourself doesn't reflect in your personality. 
Take for example when all the pictures of a lady is all a make up pictures or Photoshop and the man finally gets to meet with the lady only to discover that she looks really different from what he saw online and was way below his expectations, his emotions will simply be deflated and the next thing he will do is stop communicating with the lady in the name of being busy. 
Why am I talking about men more here? It's simply because men spend more time admiring a lady's pictures online than they spend reading comments. 
You want to know more? It's because men's first attention is with the eyes and for ladies their eyes and heart comes first before considering his physical features. 
So in simple and clear terms his attitude is simply saying that he doesn't appreciate the lady behind the picture well enough to continue with the commitment and communication he showered on you before meeting you. 
He just realised how important his laptop is that he's searching for job (though I think he's searching for another lady) that he doesn't even have the freedom to whisper hello to you. 
Well like I said, social media blind date can be exciting but if the reality falls below expectations, then the relationship will simply feasle out within seconds. 
So what do you want to do? Continue forcing yourself on him or waiting to prove what? 
I will suggest that you allow him to focus on his job search and allow him to figure out who to work with or work for. 
If his mind is with you, definitely he'll make out time for you but if he's no longer interested in you, even if you confront him, it won't wake him up for any commitment. 

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